On a crowded bus, an old lady noticed that a man had his eyes closed.
"What's the matter? Are you sick?" she asked.
"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing."
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This stupid bug is appearing on a blasted line which would blow up the toilet.
Then they go like "Tom tom tom tom" then back to the toilet and stupidly disgusted by a recently married woman and erecting a man in a toilet.
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Question: What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
Answer: After five years, your job still sucks.
There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner.
It's like it wasn't even designed for women.
How can I be expected to work under these conditions?
Vote:
Him: "Do you have a flat stomach?"
Me: "Yeah, but the L is silent.
Q: Why do women have periods?
A: Because they deserve them.
Q:Why did the woman cross the road?
A I don't know, the real question is, why was she out of the kitchen?
I've got a new anorexic girlfriend.
Its not going too well though.
I'm just seeing less and less of her ...
Boy: "Do you like parties?"
Girl: "Yes, why?"
Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman says, "I'll miss you."