Joke #7362

Whats six inches long, has a head on it and drives women wild ? A fifty pound note !

Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly... On a broomstick. We're flexible like that.

Did you ever notice: Everything on a woman's upper body starts with a "B". Blouse, Bra, Bikini, Boobs and lower body with a "P" Peticoat, panties, pussy... That's origin of "BP"!

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!" The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!" Laughter and applause. A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home during a small party. He was a bit foggy after having a drink or two. He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!" The wife went red with shock and rage. Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, with the guests not saying a word, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was!"

A woman and baby are in the doctors surgery, the doc is concerned about the babys weight, "Is he bottle fed or breast fed? The woman replies, "Breast fed." The doc gets her to strip down to her waist so he can examine her breasts. He pinches her nipples and sucks and rubs both breasts for a while ... "No wonder the baby is underweight, you have no milk." Woman replies, "I know, Im his granny ... but Im glad I came!"

A Rolls Royce pulls up in to an expensive restaurant. A sheik emerges, followed by a harem of women and a rooster. After ordering for himself and his harem, the sheik requests a basket of apples for the rooster. The rooster proceeds to eats three baskets of apples. The waiter asks the sheik about the voracious appetite of the rooster. The sheik explains, "A genie granted me three wishes. My first wish was to have an endless supply of money. My second wish was to have many beautiful women. And my third wish was to have an insatiable cock."

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him.

A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, “I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks.” He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets. He pulls out a ten, two five's, a twenty and ten ones. He thrusts the wadded up money into the woman's hand and says, "Here...paint my house.”

A man came home from the bar with an unknown woman. He woke up in the morning and yelled, "A crocodile, a crocodile!" The woman woke up and asked, "Where, where?" A man cried again, "O-o-oh, the crocodile is talking!"

I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.

After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!