Why are women like parking spaces?
Because all the best ones are taken... and the rest are handicapped.
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A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
A guy is late to meet with his friends at the local bar the friends obviously ask why he is late and he responds:
"Wow, you won't believe what just happened. So I take the usual route via the rail tracks and suddenly I see a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks."
The friends are curious and ask: "Well, what happened next?"
The guy says: "Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her."
The friends are cheering and one friend asks: "Soo... did you get any head?"
The guy says: "No, I couldn't find it..."
Vote:
I was hiking once with my girlfriend.
Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad.
We must have come close to her cubs.
Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me.
One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took.
I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman - before and after marriage.
How do you make a woman scream twice in the bedroom?
Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the curtains.
Vote:
Q: How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"?
A: "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
Question: How is a woman like a laxative?
Answer: They both irritate the shit out of you.
What do the spice girls and a pack of M+Ms have in common?
There are assorted colors, but they all taste the same.
What do women and condoms have in common?
If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet.