Why are women like parking spaces?
Because all the best ones are taken... and the rest are handicapped.
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Question: Why do men die before their wives?
Answer: Because they want to.
Question: What’s the difference between your paycheck and your penis?
Answer: You don’t have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.
Why did the woman cross the road?
That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?
Q: What Valentine's Day candy is best to give a girl?
A: Her-She Kisses.
Vote:
An elderly woman went to her doctor, complaining about not being able to hear out of one ear.
The doctor then took his penlight, looked in her ear, then took his tweezers, reached in, and pulled something out.
After examining the object for a second, he exclaimed, "Well...it seems you inserted a suppository into your ear...".
The old lady thought for a second, then responded "Gee...I guess that explains why I can't find my hearing-aid...!".
Vote:
Q: Why is a woman's pussy like a warm toilet seat?
A: They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you.
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
*My dad helping me find a gf*
Dad: What do you want most in a woman?
Me: My dick.
*Grounded and high fived*