Joke #2212

On their 25th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Joseph was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Joseph, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" Joseph responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness -- and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single."
Vote: has 85.85 % from 231 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.   After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Happy Valentine's Day.
Vote: has 56.92 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, relationship, Valentines day
Miss DeAngelo was a not-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn’t find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the ‘other woman’ in her husband’s life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?" "Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldn’t help it." "Couldn’t help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How’s that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?" "See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."
Vote: has 46.60 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, divorce, marriage, wife, women
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a commentator.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, marriage
He went to the pharmacy and bought a bottle of seasick pills and a tube of lubricant. Upon returning home, his wife said "I've been thinking, there's no reason we can't go for a month." Mr. Johnson went back to the pharmacy and asked for 12 bottles of seasick pills and a tube of lubricant. When he returned his wife said, "Since the children are on their own, what's stopping us from cruising the world?" He went back and bought 200 bottles of seasick pills and more tubes of lubricant. The pharmacist finally had to ask: "You know, Mr. Johnson, I don't mean to pry, but if it makes you that sick, why the hell do you do it?"
Vote: has 84.26 % from 265 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
Vote: has 50.29 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, marriage
Marge was cheating on her husband with another man when they heard a noise on the stairs. "Oh, my God, your husband is home! What am I going to do?" "Just stay in bed with me. He's probably so drunk, he's not going to notice you." Sure enough, Marge's husband crawled into bed, but as he pulled up the covers, he exposed six feet. "Honey!" he yelled. "What the hell is going on? I see six feet at the end of the bed!" "Dear, you're so drunk, you can't count. If you don't believe me, count them again." The husband got out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. By damn, you're right, dear."
Vote: has 51.39 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drunk, god, husband, marriage
Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? A: Her wedding cake.
Vote: has 78.99 % from 1280 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, marriage, sex, wedding
Mr. and Mrs. Apostrophe are divorcing. He found her to be possessive and she hated his contractions. The marriage felt like a sentence.
Vote: has 75.27 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, marriage
Marraige is a 3-ring circus. Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
My wife and I have agreed never to go to bed angry with one another. So far we’ve been up for three weeks.
Vote: has 85.33 % from 175 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage