Joke #3471

Three guys all think that their wives are cheating on them. The first guy thinks his wife is screwing a plumber because he found a tool belt under his bed. The second guy thinks his wife is screwing a judge because he found a robe and gavel under his bed. The third guy says, "That's nothing! I came home and found a cowboy under my bed. I can't believe my wife is screwing a horse."
Vote: has 51.58 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Wedding anniversaries are a time when men pause and reflect on what it was they did before they were married: anything they wanted to.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: anniversary, marriage, time
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
Vote: has 30.11 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
Wife to her husband: "I told you I'll be back in five minutes, so why you are calling me every half an hour?"
Vote: has 88.57 % from 195 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
The boss snubs his employee because he took a flashlight with him to a date: "What kind of crap happens nowadays? When I was in your age, I wasn’t carrying any flashlight with me on a date. I was always meeting my girlfriends in the dark." "And what did that got you... Take a look at what you’ve married in to!"
Vote: has 50.89 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, dating, marriage
Little Johnny: Dad, Is it true? I heard that in some countries where arranged marriage is a custom, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries! Father: Son, that happens everywhere, after marriage you find out everything!”
Vote: has 60.61 % from 152 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, marriage
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two." Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."
Vote: has 48.79 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife, work
A man, his wife and a good-looking stranger are stranded on a desert island. The wife quickly loses interest in her husband and begins flirting with the good-looking stranger. The three start to build a watchtower. The stranger offers to take first watch. While the husband and wife gather driftwood on the sand, the stranger yells, "Hey! No sex on the beach! Get back to work!" The husband yells back, "We're not having sex!" Later, the stranger yells out to them again. Again, the husband yells back and corrects him. This happens several times during the stranger's shift. Finally, the husband's takes his shift in the watch tower. His wife and the good-looking stranger make passionate love on the beach. The husband on watch exclaims, "Wow, it really does look like f**king from up here!"
Vote: has 87.67 % from 266 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: desert island, flirt, husband, marriage, wife
A friend of mine often tells to his wife: "It is better to be loved and almost the only one rather than to be the only one and almost loved…"
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: love, marriage, wife
A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death." He turned around and said, "So, you want me to stay?"
Vote: has 89.02 % from 667 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, husband, marriage, wife
Losing a wife can be hard. In most cases, it’s damned near impossible.
Vote: has 88.22 % from 189 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage