Joke #5187

My husband said he wanted more space. So I locked him outside.
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has 48.20 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected the wedding ring. As the girl admired the plain platinum and diamond band, she suddenly looked concerned. "Tell me," she asked the elderly salesman "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?" With a fatherly smile, the salesman said, "One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to dip it in dishwater three times a day."
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has 82.85 % from 683 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wedding
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
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has 85.44 % from 516 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife, women
A bank robber wanted to keep his identity secret, but didn't wear a balaclava. He told all in the bank not to look at him or he would shoot them. One foolhardy customer sneaked a look, and the robber promtply shot him. The robber asked if anyone else had seen his face. One customer, gazing intently at the ground, said "I think my wife got a glimpse"
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has 71.35 % from 356 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
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has 52.46 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: marriage
After an intense high speed chase, an officer finally gets the lawbreaker to pull over. "You know," says the cop, "I was originally pulling you over to tell you your taillight is out. Why the hell did you take off like that?" "Last week my wife ran off with a cop," the man said, "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back."
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has 85.11 % from 311 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A woman turns to her husband on their silver wedding anniversary and says, ‘Darling, will you still love me when my hair turns grey?’ Her husband replies, ‘Why not? I stuck with you through the other six shades.’
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has 85.23 % from 590 votes. More jokes about: marriage
My husband added some spice to our marriage. He's left home.
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has 36.45 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage
A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags and asks her where she's going. "To Las Vegas. I found out there are men who will pay me $400 to do what I do to you for free." The man started packing his bags. "Where are you going?" she asked. "I'm going to Las Vegas with you. I want to see how you'll live on $800 a year."
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has 61.35 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A married couple has invoked the ghosts, after 15 minutes of invoking has appeared only the face of the grandmother of the man. The married couple has asked the grandmother together: "What would you like to tell us dear granny? " The granny has said: "I am looking forward to seeing you soon. Have a nice day!"
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: couple, marriage, mean, old people, time
Husband: "Right now, for this Women's Day, I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world!" Wife: "Oh dear, I will miss you!"
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has 78.02 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: holiday, marriage, mean, women