Joke #2215

A boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting. I'm not getting up."
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, sport

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."
Vote: has 75.43 % from 172 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, funeral, sport, wife
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
Vote: has 74.84 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, sport
A sailor and a priest were playing golf. The sailor took his first shot missed and said, "F**k, I missed." Surprised, the priest replied, "Don’t use that kind of language or god will punish you." The sailor took aim and hit his shot second shot. Again he missed and under his breath the said, "I f**k’n missed again." The priest overheard and replied, "My son, please don’t use that language or god will punish you." The sailor took his third shot and once again he couldn’t help mutter, "Oh f**k" The priest said, "That’s it god will certainly punish you." Suddenly a bolt of lightning came down and killed the priest. In the distance a deep voice said, "F**K, I Missed."
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, god, golf, priest, sport
A guy finally got tickets to the Super Bowl, but his seats were in the nosebleed section -- but he didn't care, he had always dreamed of going to the Super Bowl. So he wants to find a seat closer to where he can see better. He finds this seat toward the front and he asks the guy next to it whether anyone is sitting there. The guy replies, "No, because my wife just died." "Well," says the first man, "why didn't you just bring a friend or relative?" The guy replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
Vote: has 26.16 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, funeral, sport, wife
Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear. The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later. The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him. The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?" The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you moron!"
Vote: has 21.85 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, sport
Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog. They were astonished and said: "What a clever dog!" But the man protested and replied: "No, no, he isn't that clever. I'm leading by three games to one!"
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dog, game, sport
Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, music
About 4,000 years ago: God: "I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!" Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note* God: "Correction, I shall create a great flood!"
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, god, life, money, time
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, food, sport