Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A. Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
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How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch ’n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
The following sign was posted at a fast food restaurant owned by two blondes:
"Parking for drive-through customers only!"
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads:
CHEESEBURGER: $1.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50
HAND JOB: $10.00
He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks.
"Can I help you?" she asks.
"I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
"Yes," she purrs. "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday Night morning?
"Tell her a joke on Monday Morning."
Q: What's a blonde's favorite drink
A: A cocktail.
Why should you never let a blonde take a tea or coffee break?
"It's too hard to re-train them."
A blonde, brunette, and redhead are all on a building about to jump off.
They all jump at the same time.
Which one landed last?
The blonde because she asked for directions.
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls.
She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results, put on two coats".
Why did the blonde build a bridge across the river?
So she could have shade when she swam across!
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one.
Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting.
I'm a woman.
Wow, just look at our cars!
There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.
This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!"
"This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued,
"And look at this, here's another miracle.
My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break.
Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man,
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No.
I think I'll just wait for the police..."