A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway.
He started chasing after the speeder .
When he got close he's saw it was a blonde woman who was actually knitting while driving.
The cop yelled, "Pull over!"
The blonde shouted back, "No! It's a sweater!"
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A blonde and a both jump off a cliff at the same time.
Which one will hit the bottom first?
The brunette, because the blonde has to ask for directions.
One day a blonde and a redhead were playing together over the redhead's house while the redhead's father was out.
The father had a pet parrot, which he did n
ot let anyone else touch.
But, when he left, the girls took him out.
The girls were playing with it, when the blonde grabbed the parrot and accidentally ripped out one of its wings.
“Now you've done it!” the red head yelled at the blonde.
“Go buy him another one just like that, here's some money.”
The redhead went into her piggy bank and gave the blonde $50.
“Okay,” said the blonde, “but it's going to hard to find a parrot with only one wing.”
A young man presents his fiancee to his parent.
At the table, the girl needs to have a fart.
After a couple of minutes they can feel a smell...
The father-in-law says: Rex...!
Happy that her future father-in-law blamed the dog under her chair, the girl relaxes.
After a while she gives another and the father-in-law says very angry:
Rex, be careful...
With a very big relief, the girl farts again.
Father-in-law says:
Rex!
Get out of there she’ll shit on you!
A blonde walks into an appliance store and says I would like to buy that T.V. please.
The store clerk replies Im sorry, we dont do business with blondes.
So she stormed off back to her house and dyed her hair black.
The next day, she went back to the same store and said I would like to buy that T.V. please.
The store clerk, once again, replies Sorry, we dont do business with blondes.
The blonde replied How did you know I was blonde?
The clerk says Because thats a microwave, not a T.V.
Q. Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A. Because she's been laid all over the country.
How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart?
Her ears flap.
Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy.
The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, “I think we’re in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?”
This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, “I’ve got an idea. We’ll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours.”
The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled the ribbons off while they were playing.”
“OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde.
After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars.
Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled their collars off while they were playing.”
“There’s got to be some way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde.
After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, “I know! Why don’t you take the black one and I’ll take the white one!”
Q: How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?
A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.
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Q: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips?
A: From trying to blow out light bulbs.
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