Joke #2326

What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again? A dirty double-crosser!

Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.

What did the dog say to the hot dog bun? "Are you pure bred?"

Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk." Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."

What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt? Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.

Why was the lion-tamer fined? He parked on a yellow lion.

A Mom goes to the store shopping. She tells to the children, "Your father will return very drunk. Undress him down to the waist and put him to sleep." "Why to the waist", the children interested. "Because your father has a large snake below and it can bite you." The mother returned and her children met her at the door, "Mom! Mom! Dad came home! We undress him all and put him to sleep." "Are you undressed him the entire", mother worried? "What happened with the snake?" "Don't worry, Mom!" proudly answered the children. "The snake was strangled with dad's belt, her eggs were trampled and the nest was burnt."

Q: What do you get when you cross an alligator with a road runner? A: A 100 mph nigger eater.

A hound dog lays in the yard and an old man in overalls sits on the porch. "Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?" a jogger asks. The old man looks over his newspaper and replies, "Nope." As soon as the jogger enters the yard, the dog begins snarling and growling, and then attacks the jogger's legs. As the jogger flails around in the yard, he yells, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" The old man mutters, "Ain't my dog."

What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow? A tail pail.

You momma so stupid I see her walking the pigs down the street I'd asked "What she doing?" And she said "Going piggy back riding"!