What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again?
A dirty double-crosser!
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Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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Where does a cow stop to drink?
The milky way.
''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?
A: They never want to log off.
Mother to little boy: ‘Stop pulling the cat’s tail.’
Boy: ‘I’m not.
I’m just holding it.
It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.’
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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What do cows like to do at amoosement parks?
Ride on the roller cowster.
Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere?
Yak the Ripper.