Joke #2326

What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again? A dirty double-crosser!

Q: What is red and black? A: A sunburnt zebra.

A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian. "Look in the lion's mouth," the vet told him. "How do I do that?" he asked. "Carefully," replied the vet.

Gay translation I want a commitment. I'm sick of masturbation. Haven't I seen you before? Nice ass. I need you. My hand is tired. You're the only man I've ever cared about. You are the only man who hasn't rejected me. I'm a Romantic. I'm poor. I really want to get to know you better. So I can tell my friends about it. It's just orange juice, try it. 3 more shots, and he'll have his legs around my head. He's kinda cute. I want to have sex with him till my dick turns blue! He's not my type. He won't sleep with me. I miss you so much I am so horny that my dog is starting to look good. I had a wonderful time last night. Who the hell are you? Do you love me? I've done something stupid and you might find out. Do you 'really' love me? I've done something stupid and you're going to find out. I'll give you a call. I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again. I've been thinking a lot. You're not as attractive as when I was drunk. I think we should just be friends. You're ugly. I've learned a lot from you. Next!!!!

What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost!

A baby snake asked it's mom, "Mommy are we poisonous?" The mother snake responded, "Yes honey, but why do you want to know?" The baby snake responded, "Because I just bit myself..."

Rabbit: "I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I m all out of carrots. What should I do?" Friend: "Don't worry; be hoppy!"

A guy went to a whore house and asked the lady if she had a woman that could handle 16 inches. "Hmm," said the madam. "I'm not sure. Try the first door on the right." So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and immediately heard screams. "It's too big! Take it out!" So he went to the madam. "No, really. I need someone who can handle 16 inches." "Hmm," said the madam. "Try the last door." So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and had the time of his life, surprised that there was no scream at all. In fact, he heard no sounds at all. Puzzled, he finished up and pulled out. "Talk to me, baby." "Moo."

A cowboy rode up to the saloon, dismounted from his horse, and dusted himself off. He then walked around to the rear of his horse, lifted the tail and kissed it right on the rectum. As the cowboy walked into the saloon, the shocked barkeeper asked, "Did you just kiss your horse's butt?" The cowboy said, "Sure, I've got chapped lips." The stunned barkeep asked if this was an old Indian cure. The cowboy said, "Nope. But, sure as s**t, it keeps me from licking my lips!"

Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.

What is a moo hoo for a cow fight? A cattle battle.