Joke #2326

What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again? A dirty double-crosser!
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has 14.67 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.'' ''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
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has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, work
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It was escaping from K.F.C.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Waiter: "I’ve stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog’s leg." Customer: "Don’t tell me your problems. Give the menu card."
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, life
What's the favourite flavour of sharks? Shark-o-late.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car. The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..." The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch. He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, sex
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, food, life
What US state has the most cows? Moosouri.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
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has 44.56 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, redneck