Joke #9968

What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Bears do not eat bears. Tigers do not eat tigers. Dogs do not eat dogs. Cats stopped eating kebabs.
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has 13.82 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, dog, food
Why did the rabbits go on strike? They wanted a better celery.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do tigers wear in bed? Stripey pyjamas.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? A milk dud.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Three tortoises, Tinku, Teku and Toku, went into a restaurant. Each of them ordered a large ice cream sundae. They were waiting for their order when they noticed that it was pouring with rain outside. "We are going to need our umbrellas," said Toku. Tinku agreed. They both decided that Teku should run home to get the umbrellas, but he didn't want to go in case they ate his ice-cream while he was away. But Toku and Tinku promised that they would do nothing of the kind, so Teku set off. One week went by and Teku did not return. Two weeks went by and still he did not appear. Halfway through the third week, Tinku turned to Toku and said, "Come on, let's eat his ice cream." "Okay, let's," said Toku. Just then Teku's voice piped up from under the next table, "If you do, I won't go for that umbrella!"
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop.  The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire." The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?" The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over." The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop." The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start." The old rooster takes off running.  About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.  He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast.  The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. The Old Rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can.  The Farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits.  The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Dammit... third fucking rooster I bought this month." Moral of this story? Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance!
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, fart
Lion wakes up in the jungle and finds that a tool is missing, he goes to elephant and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Elephant replies: "What does it look like?" Lion: "Well it's got four points on it." Elephant: "Sorry, I haven't seen it, try mouse." So the Lion goes to the mouse and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Mouse: "What does it look like?" Lion: "Well it's got four points on it." Mouse: "Sorry mate, I've not seen it, try croc." So the lion proceeds to the crocodile and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Croc: "What does it look like?" Lion: "Well it's got four points on it." Croc: "Sorry I've not seen it, try Jaguar." So the lion goes to Jaguar and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Jaguar: "Of course, I ate it." Lion: "Why did you do that?" Jaguar: "Well I'm a four point tool eater Jaguar."
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon? A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, work
How could the dolphin afford to buy a house? He prawned everything.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal