What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Q: What is a thespian pony? A: A little horse play
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again? A dirty double-crosser!
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving? They couldn't get the moose in the oven!
Why did the frog walk across the road? He didn't... he jumped.
A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys." Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch. "That was amazing," exclaimed the coach. "I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?" "Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon? A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
What kind of money do polar bears use? Ice lolly.
What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man? Tarzan stripes forever.