Joke #3510

How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?

Q: What do you call a naked deer? A: Buck naked!

"Name?" "Abdul Aziz." "Sex?" "Three to five times a day." "No, no... I mean male or female?" "Yes, male, female, sometimes camel." "Holy cow!" "Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general." "But isn't that hostile?" "Horse style, doggy style, any style!" "Oh dear!" "No, no! Deer run too fast..."

Customer: "Waiter, do you serve crabs?" Waiter: "Please sit down sir, we serve everyone."

Have you seen the offices of the RSPCA? It’s tiny; you couldn’t swing a cat in there.

Question: What do you get when you cross a shark and a parrot? Answer: a creature that talks your ear off.

A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"

An elephant goes to a camel and says why have you got a pair of tits on your back, the camel then replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.

How about we spank each other and call ourselves even?

Q: Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? A: Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they'd all say: "Bach, Bach, Bach."

How come sharks don’t attack lawyers? From professional courtesy.