How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him. He stopped one of the runners and asked, "What’s happening?" The runner replied breathlessly, "A lion has escaped from the zoo." "Oh my, which way is it heading?" "Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?"
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets. A waiter explains, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement." Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters' flies. "The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explains the waiter. "That way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims straight, and we don't need to use our hands." The customer asks, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?" The waiter replies, "Well, that's another reason we carry the spoons."
A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head. The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
How do you stop a skunk from smelling? You hold his nose!
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
What is the best advice to give a worm? Sleep late.
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
"My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I m positive he isn't." "How do you know he isn t?" "Because I am."