Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? A: Dress her up as an alter boy.
"Does your ass have Allstate insurance?" "No, why?" "Well, do you want it to be in good hands?"
I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina. So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
Two lepers playing poker, one threw his hand in, the other laughed his head off.
Two nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. The first nun has a stroke. The second nun tried but she couldn't reach.
Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus? It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother. ‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son. The mother replies, ‘I don’t know. Surprise me.’
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking. The Yankee said, "sex is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in." The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."
One day little Johnny with his aunt went to a zoo. Little Johnny pointed to a donkey that had a black and long erected penis more than 20 inches length. So he asked his aunt what was that. His aunt responded: "That is nothing" On the other month when he with his mother went to the zoo accidentally they met the same donkey with his long dick. Johnny pointing to it said to his mother: "Mommi my aunt told me that it was nothing." His mother laughed and said: "My dear it is nothing for your aunt!"