Joke #2375

Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
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has 65.01 % from 166 votes. More jokes about: drug, sex

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Two old ladies were outside smoking one day when it started to rain. One of the ladies took out a condom, cut off the tip, and put it over her cigarette. The other lady said, 'Hey, that's a good idea. What's that called?' The lady responded, 'It's a condom.' The other lady said, 'Where can you get one of those?' She said, 'Oh, just about any grocery of drug store.' So, the next day, the lady went to a local drug store, went up to the cashier, and said, 'I need to get some condoms.' The cashier looked at her puzzled (because of her age) and said, 'UH, what size?' The lady responded, 'Hmm, one that would fit a camel.'
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has 73.18 % from 397 votes. More jokes about: animal, drug, sex
Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sex? They're called "Predickamints".
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has 68.85 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: drug, sex
A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?" The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax." "TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
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has 62.88 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: dating, drug, money, sex, tax
An evening of Valentine's Day. A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!" "Sorry, we are sold out..."
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has 48.11 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: drug, sex, Valentines day
If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up
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has 55.20 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: dirty, drug, duck, weed
I'm trying to write a joke about overdosing on cocaine. But I need a line to end it.
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: drug, life
A guy walks into a bar with a four-foot crocodile on a leash, following him like a dog. The barman says gruffly: "No pets allowed here!" The guy says, "But this is a trained crocodile. See what it can do!" He sets the crocodile on a table and hits it on both ears. The crocodile opens its jaws wide. The guy unzips his pants, puts his pecker into the crocodile's jaws and hits the crocodile on the ears again. The crocodile closes its jaws leaving just one-inch space, not touching the man's pecker. Everybody in the bar is very impressed. To build upon it, the guy declares: "I give a hundred dollars to anyone who does it!" But everybody is afraid to - understandably, each would rather have an undamaged pecker than a hundred dollars. Finally, a man wearing a pink suit, with an earring in one ear, says in an effeminate voice: "I think I can do it!" Everybody admires him, "What a brave man you are!" The man continues, to the guy: "Just don't hit me so hard on the ears!"
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has 71.97 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, dirty, money, sex
Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, flirt, sex
Kid to her mother: "If you hurt me I'll make you pregnant by a needle." Mother: "How? My sweet it isn't possible." Kid: "I'll insert the needle to daddy's condom!"
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has 76.69 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, mean, sex, vulgar
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?" Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine." Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this." Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, health, memory, old people