What happened when the chef got his hand caught in the dishwasher?
They both got fired.
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A father and his 6-year-old son are walking down the street, and they come across two dogs having sex.
The boy is shocked by what he sees and asks his father "Daddy, what are they doing?"
The father, not wanting to lie to his son, says "they're just making a puppy."
"OK" says the son, and the father is relieved that he doesn't probe further.
The next day, the son bursts into his parents' room and sees them having sex.
The father jumps up and quickly covers himself.
Knowing he's in for an interesting talk, walks downstairs with him and they sit at the dining room table.
His son asks him "Daddy, what were you and mommy doing?"
Again, wanting to be honest with his son, he says "me and mommy were making a baby."
His son pauses for a moment, thinking, and then replies "flip mommy over, I want a puppy!"
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted?
A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
Yo mama's so fat when she is having sex, her partner doesen't know if it's in her butt or her boobs.
One day a girl was with her mom in the park and saw two teens having sex on the bench.
The little girl asked her mom, "Mommy, what are they doing?"
The mom was blushing and replied, "Oh their making cakes."
The next day the girl and the mom went to the zoo and saw two monkey having sex.
The little girl asked again, "Mommy, what are they doing?"
Again the mother replied, "Oh their making cakes."
The next day, the little girl confronted her mom, "Mommy, I know you and daddy we’re making cakes last night."
The mom was frightened and asked, "How did you know?"
The little girl replied, "I licked the icing off the couch! It was good too!"
Q: Why would a blonde wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means Stop.
16 and Pregnant.
15 and Fucking.
14 and Sucking.
13 and Licking.
12 and Fingering.
11 and Touching.
9 and Kissing.
8 and Wondering.
Welcome To Our Fucked Up Generation...
Two policemen are walking the beat when one says, ‘When I get home, I’m going straight upstairs and tearing off the wife’s underwear.’
‘Feelling randy?’ asks the other.
‘No,’ says the first. ‘The elastic is killing me.’
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants?
A: Uncle.
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
One day a man got on the bus and saw a nun.
He started to have sexual Thoughts about her and tried to stop but she looked so good that he couldn't Stop.
So once she got off the bus the man asked the bus driver if he knew Where she was going.
The bus driver said to meet the nun at the church at 8:0op.m dressed like jesus. He went there dressed like jesus.
This Surprised the nun and she asked him what she needed to do and he said have anal sex with him.
Afterwards, the man said I have a confession to make and he told her he wasn't jesus but the man on the bus.
The nun then said she had a confession also. She was the busdriver..