What happened when the chef got his hand caught in the dishwasher? They both got fired.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time.
‘He had ambitions at one time to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.’ Les Dawson
Q: How do you make four old ladies say "FUCK!"? A: Get a fifth one to yell "BINGO!"
There is nothing wrong with sex on TV – as long as you don’t fall off.
Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only you do it yourself.
Q: What's the speed limit of sex? A: 68. Because at 69 you have to turn around!
What did Adam say to Eve? ‘Stand back! I don’t know how big this thing gets!’
Yo momma so fat when I crawl in her pussy I can't find my way out.
My wife and I really love bondage. She loves it because she's a kinky bitch. I love it because I get to gag her for a couple of hours.
I wish my girlfriend had warned me about the ceiling mirror in her bedroom. I lay down ready for her, then ran out screaming – I’d looked up and thought I was being attacked by a naked skydiver.