What happened when the chef got his hand caught in the dishwasher?
They both got fired.
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A lady tells her husband, “My gynecologist said I can’t have sex for two weeks.”
He replies, “What did your dentist say?”
Why do Jews watch porn backwards?
Because their favorite part is when the hooker gives the money back.
Two sperm are in the body looking for the egg when one of them starts to wonder why it is taking so long.
He asks the other sperm, "aren't we near the uterus yet?"
"No," replied the other sperm, "we haven't even gotten to the esophagus."
My husband told me to find him the best penis enlargement product.
So I gave him a magnifying glass!
How can you make your wife scream for an hour after sex?
Wipe your dick on the curtains.
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.
Q: What did Snow White say to Pinocchio when she was sitting on his face?
A: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
Vote:
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity?
A: The crayons are still sticky.
Vote:
Grandmother is so stupid, she’s gone on the pill because she doesn’t want any more grandchildren.
Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach.
The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water.
The son comes running up to his mom and says: "Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!"
The mom says: "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play.
Several minutes later he comes running back and says: "Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!"
The mom says: "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play.
Several minutes later he comes running back and says: "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"