What do you call a frog with no legs?
It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.
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Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
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Q: What is a bee that cant make up his mind?
A: A maybe.
Why did the bareback performer ride his horse?
Because it got too heavy to carry.
Why did the gag-writer turn green?
Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing frog jokes!
Which rabbit was in Western movies?
Hopalong Cassidy.
What did the blonde call her pet zebra?
Spot.
If you make a cow angry, how will she get even?
She'll cream you.
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago.
The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?"
The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess."
So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?"
The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"
The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
Why was the skunk angry?
He was incensed.