Joke #2397

What do you call a frog with no legs? It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.

What's the difference between a tiger and a lion? A tiger has the mane part missing.

What do cows like to do at amoosement parks? Ride on the roller cowster.

Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.

Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig? Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.

Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.

Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming? He was a card shark.

Which rabbit stole from the rich to give to the poor? Rabbit Hood.

One day, a guy decides to go ice fishing. He gets out onto the ice and starts making a hole with his ice augur. Suddenly he hears a booming voice say "there's no fish there!" He looks around startled but doesn't see anyone. He packs up and moves to another spot and starts working on a new hole. Again he hears the booming voice "there's no fish there!" He moves again and starts making a new hole and hears the voice again. "There's no fish there!" it booms. He looks up nervously. "G-G-God? I-I-Is that... you?" he asks. "No, it's the arena manager. Get the fuck out of here!"

A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a b*tch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued." The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you." He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?" The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"

Q: Why did the atheist throw her watch out the window? A: She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird.