Why did the gag-writer turn green?
Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing frog jokes!
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Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day?
He fell in love with the Grand National winner!
What's a teddy bears favourite pasta?
Tagliateddy.
Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
Q: What is black white and rolls around in the sand?
A: A black man and a segal fighting over a carp.
Vote:
A beautiful princess comes upon a frog in a meadow near her castle.
The frog hops into the princess' lap and says, "My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set-up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever be happy doing so."
That night, as the princess dines on lightly sauteed frog legs, she chuckles to herself, "I don't f**kin' think so."
What do you if you're trapped inside a whale?
Run round and round till you're all pooped out!
Vote:
A snail and a slug got in a crash.
When the police, ambulances and news reporters arrived, a reporter asked a tortoise what happened.
He replied: "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What's black and white, stinks and hangs from a line?
A drip dry skunk.
Go to your back door and look for the dog.
If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining.
But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.
If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy.
If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing.
Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.
Yours sincerely,
The CAT