Why did the gag-writer turn green? Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing frog jokes!
What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
What's an octopuses favourite latin saying? Squid pro quo.
What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit? The first herd shot round the world.
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?" The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite." The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. "Ouch!" He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!" The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog!"
How do you know when a crab is drunk? It walks forwards.
If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get? "Beeflt!"
Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first? A: The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender… "Pour me a stiff one – just had another fight with the little woman." "Oh yeah?" said Charlie "And how did this one end?" "When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees." "Really," said Charles, "now that's a switch! What did she say?" "She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'"
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk? A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant.