On what should you mount a statue of your cat?
A caterpillar!
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Q: What did the cow say to the other cow?
A: Moo.
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Q: What do you call a chilly dog sitting on bunny?
A: A Cold dog on a bun.
What to polar bears eat for lunch?
(Ice berg-ers!)
What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A lawn moo-er.
Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a hippo?
A: One has a big mouth and a fat ass. The other lives in rivers in tropical countries.
Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
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A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed.
After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains.
He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there.
"Who the hell are you?" he yells.
The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector."
"Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?"
He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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