Joke #4634

On what should you mount a statue of your cat? A caterpillar!

For our daughters 5th birthday we bought her a rabbit. We couldn’t help laughing when on the way she announced "the rabbit’s name is Sparingly." "How do you know?" I asked "look" she responded "it says “feed sparingly 3 times daily."

Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, "Whats that?" She says: "Well, it's a beaver, Johnny." The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower. He says: "Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out."

What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull.

What's a moo hoo for a darling bull? A dear steer.

What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery? A yeaster bunny.

How are black people and wolves similar? They both fight in packs.

Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a pig ran in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn’t. The pig was killed. The President told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened. About an hour later the driver staggers back to the car with his clothes in total disarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and smiling happily. “What happened?” asked the President. “Well,” the driver replied “the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and their beautiful daughter made mad passionate love to me.” “My God, what did you tell them?” asked the President. The driver replied: “I’m Bill Clinton’s driver, and I just killed the pig.”

What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel? A bit of a shock really.

What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten? An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!

What did the flower say to be the bee? "Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."