On what should you mount a statue of your cat?
A caterpillar!
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A cow and a horse were galloping around a curve opposite to.
They landed in each other.
Who was wrong?
The cow, it didn't blow its horn.
Yo momma so fat when she goes camping the bears hide their food.
When does a female deer need money?
When she doesnt have a buck.
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?
A runny bunny.
Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong
Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
Vote:
The T. Rexes were all angry.
You know why?
Because these huge muscular creatures with these big muscular legs and these tiny little hands!
How would you feel, 60 million years never being able to masturbate?
That is the real reason dinosaurs are extinct right there.
Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
Vote:
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear?
A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
Vote:
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
One day there was a tortoise walking on the road.
Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race.
The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race.
The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge.
It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line.
So the tortoise is still the champion of the race.
So remember this you snooze you loose!