On what should you mount a statue of your cat? A caterpillar!
Teacher: "Who can tell me 5 wild animals?" Little Johnny: "2 lions & 3 wolves."
Why was the horse all charged up? It ate some haywire!
What famous painting do cows love to look at? The Moona Lisa.
How did that bullfight come out? Oh, it was a toss-up.
A man started to town with a fox, a goose, and a sack of corn. He came to a stream which he had to cross in a tiny boat. He could only take one across at a time. He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the corn. How did he get them all safely over the stream? He took the goose over first and came back. Then he took the fox across and brought the goose back. Next he took the corn over. He came back alone and took the goose.
Where do rabbits go after their wedding? On their bunnymoon.
Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling? She’s got that down-in-the-mouth look.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.