What difference is between a man and Paris? The Paris remains Paris!
A: Why are you late? B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. A: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? B: No, I was standing on it.
A teenage boy overdosed on ten bottles of Viagra. Not only is he lucky to be alive, he’s lucky not to have taken his eye out.
Q:How do crazy people go through the forest? A:They take the psycho path.
A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?"
A 45 year old woman had a heart attack and was immediately transported to the hospital. While she was in surgery she had a supernatural, near death experience. She met God and asked him: "Has my time come?" He answered: "No, you have 43 years, 2 months and 8 more days to live." After she recovered, the woman decided to stay in hospital and do plastic surgery on her face, liposuction, breast enlargement and abdominal fat removal. She also called a hair stylist to change her hairstyle and an orthodontist to perform a ‘teeth lifting’. She figured, if she had so much time in front of her, she should live the best way possible. After her last plastic surgery and not until she has recovered, she wore a new dress with matching heels, left the hospital, went across the street and an ambulance run over her… While crossing the gates to heaven, she reached God and demanded to know what happened: "You told me I had 43 more years! Why didn’t you save me from the ambulance?" And he answered: "I didn’t recognize you."
What is the best type of ship? FRIENDSHIP!
What is height of Activelaziness? Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
You want to come in my life, the door is open. You want to get out of my life, the door is open. Just one request. Don’t stand at the door, you’re blocking the traffic.
What do you call an intelligent man in America? A tourist.
Q. What is Snoop Dog's favorite weather? A. Drizzle