Why do zebras have stripes?
Because the spots where all over.
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Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days.
Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.
"So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home.
"Great," Little Johnny replied.
"Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother.
"Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
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Yo' Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
You don't because it won't come.
Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A:Right where you left him.
Curiosity didn't kill the cat.
Chuck Norris did.
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Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school?
A: Hissssstory.
Why is manna from heaven like horse hay?
Both are food from aloft!
A cowboy rode up to the saloon, dismounted from his horse, and dusted himself off.
He then walked around to the rear of his horse, lifted the tail and kissed it right on the rectum.
As the cowboy walked into the saloon, the shocked barkeeper asked, "Did you just kiss your horse's butt?"
The cowboy said, "Sure, I've got chapped lips."
The stunned barkeep asked if this was an old Indian cure.
The cowboy said, "Nope.
But, sure as s**t, it keeps me from licking my lips!"
Why did the zombie baby cross the road?
He was stapled to the chicken.
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