How do you confuse a frog?
Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.
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Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-day!
Q: Why do hippos have to have sex in water?
A: Ever try to keep two tons of pussy wet?
Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay!
What do you get when you cross a bunny with a spider?
A harenet.
A police station gets 2 new horses and 2 cops are assigned to be mounted policemen.
They go on a ride and come back pleased.
"This horse is great! From now on I'll always take this one" said the first cop.
"My horse's great too. So I'll always take it" replied the second cop.
"But how do we know which is which?"
They though for a minute or two and one of them came up with an idea.
"Lets cut off this ones tail"
The other cop agreed and the horse lost it's tail.
The next morning The police chief is standing infront of the horses and looks really mad.
The two cops see this and ask whats wrong.
"You two morons cut off the horses tail that's what's wrong!"
"But otherwise we couldn't tell them apart."
"Can't you see the black one is a bit taller then the brown one?!"
Ronnie goes to the auction.
He notices a parrot that was on auction.
Ronnie decides to bid for it and so Ronnie starts off with 50 Dollars.
Auctioneer: 50 Dollars
Voice: 100 Dollars
Ronnie: 200 Dollars
Voice: 300 Dollars
Ronnie: 400 Dollars
Voice: 750 Dollars
Ronnie: 800 Dollars
Auctioneer 800 going once, twice and the parrot is sold.
Ronnie to the Auctioneer "I hope this Parrot can speak as I have spent a lot of money on it."
Auctioneer Laughing: "Who do you think was Bidding against you.
What is the definition of revenge?
A baby with a dog in its mouth.
Vote:
How do you make a cat be a dog?
Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match.
It will go 'WOOF.'
Q: What is red and black?
A: A sunburnt zebra.