How do you confuse a frog?
Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.
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Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court.
"Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me."
"I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight?
Sir Loin.
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk.
Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.
As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969."
The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."
Did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory?
Alike did was stand around making faces.
Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues?
Because he had a stinking cold.
What do cows do when they re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
Vote:
What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A cock that stays up all night.
Q: What do you get when you cross a perm with a rabbit?
A: Curly hare.
Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves.
They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother.
"Well," said the first one, "I bought Mom a huge house in Beverly Hills."
"I bought her a Mercedes and hired a full-time driver for her."
"I've got you both beat," said the third. "I bought her a miraculous parrot that can recite any Bible verse you tell it to."
A little later, the mother sent out a thank you letter to all three sons.
"Gerald - the house you bought was too big.
I only live in one room, but I have to clean the entire house.
Milton - the car is useless because I don't go anywhere because I'm too old.
But Robert - you know exactly what I like.
The chicken was delicious."