How do you confuse a frog? Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.
What’s a mouse’s favorite record? Please cheese me!
Q. What did one frog say to another? A. You're such a WART!
A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet. What are they thinking? The woman thinks, "He keeps quiet. He doesn’t want to talk. May be he’s get tired of me. He doesn’t love me anymore. He’s probably got someone else. I see. We’ll have to separate each other." The man thinks, "A fly. A fly on the ceiling. Wow! How keep it there and don’t fall?"
Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? A: Laughing stock.
What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle? A nerd herd.
Chuck Norris looked Medusa straight in the eyes, and laughed.
What did the bee say to the flower? "Hi, honey."
Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do? Christy: I'd climb a tree. Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree? Christy: I will jump in the lake and swim. Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you? Christy: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion's?
A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can't help laughing and eventually says "Don't you know there aren't any apples on the tree yet?" "Yes," said the snail, "but there will be by the time I get up there."