Joke #2361

How do you confuse a frog? Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.

A man goes to the circus. After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job. "Alright, what can you do?", the manager asks. "I can do great bird impressions", the man replies. "Pssh, a lot of people can do that". "Oh well", the man says and flies away.

Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent. They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.

Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. - Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)

I've been trying to find the right time to tell my pet hes adopted...

Why did the frog go to the mall? Because he wanted to go hopping.

How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed.

If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get? Half and half.

Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?

How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid.

A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.  Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"  The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot.  Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board. The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it... with the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day... and then 2 days and then 3 days. Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said... "OK, I give up. Where's the fucking ship?"