How do you confuse a frog?
Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.
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A waitress walks up to a man to take his order.
"I'd like to get the turtle soup, please."
The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead.
"Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
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A rabbit went to the fortune-teller, “what do you see in my future?” asked the rabbit.
“Very soon,” replied the fortune-teller, “you will meet a pretty young girl who will want to know everything about you.”
“That’s great!” said the rabbit, hopping up and down.
“But when will I meet her?”
“Next week in science class,” said the fortune-teller.
Q: Why do fish live in to the salt water?
A: For the reason that pepper makes them sneeze!
What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil?
Pre-tanned leather.
A baby snake asked it's mom, "Mommy are we poisonous?"
The mother snake responded, "Yes honey, but why do you want to know?"
The baby snake responded, "Because I just bit myself..."
What do you if you're trapped inside a whale?
Run round and round till you're all pooped out!
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Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice?
He was a sherbet!
Question: Why does Tigger smell?
Answer: You'd smell too if you played with Pooh all day!
Q: What is red and black?
A: A sunburnt zebra.