Q:Why do dogs stick their noses in women's crotches?
A:Because they can.
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Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a hippo?
A: One has a big mouth and a fat ass. The other lives in rivers in tropical countries.
Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.
His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician.
The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber.
The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.
"No, I'm serious.
The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
What do you call the everyday routines of rabbits?
Rabbits habits.
A snail and a slug got in a crash.
When the police, ambulances and news reporters arrived, a reporter asked a tortoise what happened.
He replied: "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
What's green green green green green?
A frog rolling down a hill.
What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny.
Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school?
A: Hissssstory.
Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
Vote:
A boy went into a hoare house and said he wanted an AIDS's infected prostitute.
The woman at reception said room 9 top of the hall.
He went to the room and did his business.When he was leaving she asked him why he wanted her she being aids infected.
The boy answered,"When I go home i'll sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with my mam then in the morning my mam will fuck the milkman and thats the BASTARD that ran over my dog.