Joke #2509

Why don’t all the managers go into holiday at once? So people can’t see that the company works without them..
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life

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Did you hear about that music composer who commited suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: death, life, music
One day, Bush was talking with Osama Binladen on the phone, they couldn’t trace from where the call was coming from, but Osama said, "I’ve got good news and bad news." Bush replied, "What’s the good news?" "I’m turning myself in," said Osama. "But the bad news is, I’m coming on a plane."
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has 71.85 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: life
A Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door yesterday, so I answered it and asked if he wanted to come in he said, "Yeah, okay." I said I'm just making a cup of tea do you want one? He said, "Yeah, sure." I said I've just made some toast do you want a slice? He said, "Yeah, why not." I then he sat down and I asked him, "So what now?" He said, "I don't know I've never got this far before!"
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: life, religious
There was an Scotsman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped. The Englishman was thinking: ‘The Scottish guy must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.’ Claudia Schiffer was thinking: ‘The English guy must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Scotsman and got slapped for it.’ And the Scotsman was thinking: ‘This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I’ll make that kissing noise and slap that English bastard again.'
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has 80.58 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, travel
Wearing a turtleneck shirt is like being strangled by a really weak person all day.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life
Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
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has 78.68 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: life, light bulb, women
Q: Why did Mexico send only a couple thousand Mexicans to fight in the Alamo? A: Because they only had 4 trucks.
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has 27.74 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: life, mexican
I watched Justin Bieber get shot in CSI and my brother asked "Why are you crying?" I said "Because he didn't die in real life"
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has 80.59 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, life, music
A golfer walks into the clubhouse of the local country club. He tells the golf pro behind the counter that he wants to do 18 and he is going to need a caddy. The golf pro informs him that the country club is running a promotion and if he tries out one of their experimental robot caddies, he can golf for free. The golfer agrees and takes out the robot. While on the golf course the robot caddy tells the golfer the wind speed, distance, even how hard to hit which club. He has the best game of his life. The next time the golfer goes to the country club, he tells the golf pro that he wants to do 18 holes and that he wants to get one of the robot caddies. He informs the golfer that they don't have the robot caddies anymore. The golfer, all upset, tells him how great they were and asks him what happened. The golf pro tells him that members were complaining that the sun would reflect of their metallic material and into their eyes. The golfer asks him why they didn't just paint the robots black? The golf pro said that they did paint them into black robot caddies, but the next day, 3 of them didn't show up and the other 3 robbed the pro shop.
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has 57.25 % from 147 votes. More jokes about: black humor, game, golf, life
If life hands you lemons, break out the tequila!
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: life