Joke #6108

Do you know what a plateau is? It's the highest form of flattery!
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory." Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Vote: has 80.52 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
A Jewish guy got in a taxi cab...5 min into a ride the driver notice a man beating up a woman on the other side of the street. The driver rush to the scene. He open the door ran out as soon as he did that the Jewish guy roll down his window as fast as he can and shouted, "Stop it, stop it, stop the meter."
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: jewish, life, women
An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half. The pharmacist winks at him, "OK, but do you realize they won't be as effective?" The old man says, "Listen sonny, I'm 80 years old. I don't want them for sex. I need them for getting me hard enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, life, old people, sex, viagra
What does a British potato say when it thinks something is wonderful? It's mashing!
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life, racist
What has four legs but can't walk? A chair.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
An elderly man 82, just returned from the doctors only to find he didn’t have long to live. So he summons the three most important people in his life to tell. 1. His Doctor 2. His Priest 3. His Lawyer "Well today I found out I don’t have long to live. So I asked you three here, because your the most important people in my life. And I need to ask a favour. Today I am going to give each of you and envelope with $50,000 dollars in it. When I die, I would ask that all three of you throw the money in my grave." Well a few days later the man passed on, The doctor said, "I have to admit I kept $10,000 dollars of his money, he owed me lots of medical bills. But I threw the other $35,000 in." The Priest said, "I have to admit also I kept $25,000 dollars for the church. Its all going to a good cause. And I threw the rest in." Well the Lawyer just couldn’t believe what he was hearing, "I am surprised at you two. I wrote a check for the whole amount and threw it in."
Vote: has 73.44 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, doctor, lawyer, life, old people
A punk rocker gets on the bus with green, yellow, purple and orange hair. An old guy sitting on the bus stares at him, and the punk says, "What's the matter, old man, didn't you ever do anything wild in your life?" And the old man says, "Yeah, one time I fucked a parrot. I thought maybe you were my kid."
Vote: has 73.20 % from 89 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, life, sex
A wife told his husband to whisper her dirty things, the man then replied, "The kitchen, the living room, the conservatory and the dining room."
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Vote: has 85.21 % from 611 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, travel
Toilets are like mothers-in-law: the farther away the better.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, mother in law