On the street strolls a chick dressed with fur from head to toes. Near hear another chick stops and says to hear: Do you imagine how many animals they had to kill for this coat? But do you know with how many animals I had to sleep with for it?
A woman saw an ad in the local newspaper which read: "Purebred Police Dog $25." Thinking that to be a great bargain, she called and ordered the dog to be delivered. The next day a van arrived at her home and delivered the mangiest-looking mongrel she had ever seen. In a rage, she telephoned the man who had placed the ad, "How dare you call that mangy-mutt a purebred police dog?" "Don't let his looks deceive you, ma'am," the man replied, "He's in the Secret Service."
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
Q. Why are fish so smart? Q. Why are fish so smart A. Because they swim in schools!
What do you call a dumb bunny? A hare brain.
What's green with red spots? A frog with the chicken pox!
What do you call explosive cow vomit? A cud missle.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No, only medium rare.
"Does your dog bite?" "No." (Tries to touch dog. Dog bites him) "Argh! I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" "That is not my dog."