Joke #2513

On the street strolls a chick dressed with fur from head to toes. Near hear another chick stops and says to hear: Do you imagine how many animals they had to kill for this coat? But do you know with how many animals I had to sleep with for it?
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A guy goes into an antique shop. He's browsing around the shop and comes across a brass rat. He picks up the rat and is looking at it when the shop owner approaches him. He asks the owner how much the Brass Rat is. The shop owner says $20 For the rat and $10 for the story behind it. The customers say I don't need to know the story but I'll buy the rat. So he pays for the rat and leaves the shop. After about 50 yards he hears a Wierd noise behind him and so looks around. There's a bunch of rats following him so he picks up the pace a walks faster but the noise gets louder. He glances behind and there are hundreds of rats following him so he starts to run. Still, the noise gets louder and there are thousands of rats chasing him. He comes to a bridge over the river and thinks the rats are chasing him because of the Brass Rat, he has so he throws the rat as far as he can into the river. All the rats that were chasing him then all jump into the river and drown. The guy thinks for a while and then walks back to the shop. As he enters the shop the owner who saw him coming said I bet you came back for the story behind the Brass Rat did you? The customer says no I didn't. Have you got a brass Nigger?
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has 33.60 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: animal, business, customer service, money, racist
One day the zookeeper noticed that the Orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"? "Well," said the Orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, bible
What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses? If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!
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has 26.77 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, hospital
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
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has 53.58 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, math
My cat can talk. I asked her what two minus two was and she said nothing.
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
What did the flower say to be the bee? "Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
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has 50.00 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, vulgar
Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? No, they do everything on porpoise.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It was the chicken's day off.
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has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died
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has 60.84 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery? A yeaster bunny.
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, easter, food, work