Joke #2513

On the street strolls a chick dressed with fur from head to toes. Near hear another chick stops and says to hear: Do you imagine how many animals they had to kill for this coat? But do you know with how many animals I had to sleep with for it?
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A man is out walking in New York when he sees a girl being savaged by a fierce dog. He fights off the dog by beating about the head with a stick and saves the girl's life. The girl's mother rushes over to him: "Thank you, thank you, you are a hero, tomorrow all the newspapers will have headlines about Brave New Yorker Saves the Life of Young Girl" "But I'm not a New Yorker," the man says. "Oh, then it will say in all the newspapers Brave American Saves Life of Young Girl," says the mother. "But I'm not an American," the man says. "What are you then?" asks the mother. "I'm an Iranian," the man says. The next day he sees the newspaper headlines: Islamic Extr*mist kills American Dog.
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has 80.73 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, dog, life
Why can’t elephants go on the beach? Because they can’t keep there trunks up.
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. Aftere watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers " Wow, that's a really smart dog!". The man whispers backs "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"
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has 78.15 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, dog, game
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
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has 39.56 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, fart, women
A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom's annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn't quit it. The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn't close a large suitcase. The groom said, "Darling, you get on top and I'll try." That didn't work. Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try." Still no success. So, he said, "Look. Let's both get on top." At that point the parrot pulled away the towel with his beak and said: "Zoo or no zoo. I just gotta see this."
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has 68.26 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal, parrot
Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, health
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine? Hamburger.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
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has 65.91 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, easter, sex
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
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has 46.76 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, Chuck Norris