What animal do you look like when you get into the bath?
A little bear.
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Yo momma is so hairy when she lifts her armpit up it looks like she's got Bigfoot in a headlock.
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead.
The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom.
She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business.
While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her.
They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream.
Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating.
She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey.
He chews bees...
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What's a skunk's favourite game in school?
Show and smell.
I can teach my cat any trick he wants to do!
Why couldn't the cow leave the farm?
She was pasteurized.
A man asks a farmer near a field, "Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train."
The farmer says, "Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you'll even catch the 4:11 one."
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
An udder failure.
How do you know when you re eating rabbit stew?
When it has hares in it.