Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?
A: He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
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Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat?
A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat?
A. Because he was pissed off!
What is a chameleon's motto?
A change is as good as a rest.
Would a Police-Dog arrest itself for fouling the street?
Police Dog Joke Submitted by Kabogga.
What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter?
Deviled eggs.
They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming.
Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.
Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch?
(Because he was stuffed!)
A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night.
All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out.
"Jesus is gonna get you."
The robber ignored it, and takes the TV.
Again, the parrot cries out.
"Jesus is gonna get you."
The robber started to get a little worried.
"What's your name, birdie?"
"Moses."
"What dumbass named you Moses?"
"The same dumbass who called his rottweiler Jesus."
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