Joke #3527

Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? A: He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you? Kids: Meat! Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you? Kids: Bacon! Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you? Kid: Homework!
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How do you shoot a great white shark? Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.
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Two rabbits are in a garden and one of the rabbits says, "Thith carrot tathes pithy." The other rabbit says, "Yes, I know, I just pithed on it."
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How come sharks don’t attack lawyers? From professional courtesy.
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Law of Pill Rejection Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
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What's the fastest way to send a rabbit? Haremail.
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An aquarium is just interactive television for cats.
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Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
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A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead. Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion. The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head. "There" says the vet," Your hamster is dead". Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion. The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat. The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head. "It's definitely dead sir", says the vet. Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes. "That will be L1000, please". "A L1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man. "Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan".
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, doctor
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man? A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal