Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the men's delight, she points out the happy child as theirs.
''Isn't it wonderful?'' Brad exclaims. ''All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy.''
''He's happy now," says the nurse. "But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his ass.''
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What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go whoo-whoo!
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw.
So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him.
So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.
He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion.
The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.
The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!!
I said I needed a hand saw!".
The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first?
A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!
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What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
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Q: What do you call it when someone farts in a gay bar?
A: A love call.
What do you call 50 lesbians and 50 government employees in one room?
100 people that don''t do dick!
Two condoms walk into a gay bar, look at each other and say "let's get shit-faced!"
A couple of Yogi Berra's team mates on the Yankees ball club swear that one night the stocky catcher was horrified to see a baby toppling off the roof of a cottage across the way from him.
Yogi dashed over and made a miraculous catch - but then force of habit proved too much for him.
He straightened up and threw the baby to second base.
Q: What do gay horses eat?
A: Hay.
How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?
Stick a javelin through it's head.
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