Joke #359

Q: How do 5 gay men walk? A: One Direction!

Three desperately ill men go to their docter seeking help. One is and alcoholic, One is a chain smoker and the other is gay. The doctor tells the men if you indulge in any of your habits again you will die. So the three men leave and then the alcoholic sees a bar and hears its loud music and can't resist. He orders a shot of whisky drinks it and suddenly drops down dead the other two men walk out side realising how serious this is, but then the chain smoker sees a half a ciggarette on the ground still burning so the gay guy says to the chain smoker "if you bend over to pick that up were both dead"

Sign at a gay nudist colony: "Gentlemen playing leapfrog are requested to complete their leaps!"

Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!

Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing. Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing. Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again–being so ashamed of what they were doing.

Q: What do a gay and a garbage truck have in common? A: Both take it in the rear.

A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?" The girl says, "I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you." The guy says, "I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants."

What do you call it when someone farts in a Gay Bar? Mating call

Q: Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra? A: So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.

Elvis Presley, Richard Petty, Budweiser, and Michael Jackson all call Chuck Norris "The King".

If you rate this kickass, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.