Joke #2537

What’s a black spot between two white spots? A fly with cotton wool in her ears!

What’s the difference between cats and dogs? Dogs have owners, cats have staff.

What do you call the everyday routines of rabbits? Rabbits habits.

Why was the little bear so spoiled? Because its mother panda d to its every whim.

A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur. "One spur?" asked the saddler. "Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?" "No, just one," replied the horseman. "If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"

Bill O'Reilly and his chauffeur accidentally hit and kill a farmer's pig while driving through the country. O'Reilly tells the chauffeur to apologize to the farmer. They drive up to the farm, and the chauffeur goes inside. He is gone for a long time. When the driver returns, he explains his long absence, "Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife made me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses." "Why were they so grateful?" O'Reilly asks. The chauffeur replies, "I don't know. All I told him was that I was Bill O'Reilly's driver and I'd just killed the pig."

I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.

What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"? A cow walking backwards.

I hear you take milk baths. That's right. Why? I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.

Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.

A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian. "Look in the lion's mouth," the vet told him. "How do I do that?" he asked. "Carefully," replied the vet.