Joke #1913

Why do moths fly with their legs open? Cause they've got huge mothballs!
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has 21.85 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal

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How to catch a polar bear: Go up north and find a frozen lake or pond. Cut a large hole in the ice. Open a can of green peas, and place the peas around the edge of the hole single file. Hide behind a nearby rock. When the bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice-hole!
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed. His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied,  "Some things you just can't explain. This morning I was outside milking a cow. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left foot to a pole. I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right foot to a pole too. As soon as I finished milking the cow again he knocked down the bucket with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt. As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain."
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has 79.47 % from 163 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex, wife, work
Did you find my horse well behaved? Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar? A: The lid said, "Twist to open."
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has 69.96 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, fish
Tow millipedes went for honey moon. The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
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has 59.41 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, love, sex, wedding
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
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has 81.67 % from 300 votes. More jokes about: animal, IT, management, money, programmer
A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
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has 19.47 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
What is the definition of "moon"? The past tense of "moo"!
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, finally the bear says, "excuse me ,do you have problems with crap sticking to your furr when you go?" The rabbit replies, "WHY NO".....so then the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
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has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal