Joke #10779

Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."

What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office? An encownter group.

Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother? For smoking in bed.

The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...

What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii? Moo moos.

How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready, teddy, go.

Have you seen the offices of the RSPCA? It’s tiny; you couldn’t swing a cat in there.

What do reindeer say before telling you a joke? This one will sleigh you.

A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet.

A boy asks his mother for breakfast. She says, "Not until you feed the animals." The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig. The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he's hungry. His mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken, so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow, so you're not getting any milk, and I saw kick the pig, so you're not getting any bacon." Just then the boy's father walks down the steps, trips and kicks the cat. The boy says, "Mom, should I tell him?"

Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat’s milk. The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. And they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now." "Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully. "He’s a martyr now though" mum confides. "Oh, so sad, dear" says the other. "And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21." "Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born." "He’s a martyr too" says mum quietly. "Oh, gracious me…" says the other. "And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would be 18," she whispers. "Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school." "He’s a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes. After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says, "They blow up so fast, don’t they?"