Joke #10779

Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."

How is cat food sold? Usually purr can!

Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a hippo? A: One has a big mouth and a fat ass. The other lives in rivers in tropical countries.

Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.

Me: Hey look its Nemo! Worker: Sir, that's a clown fish. Me: Bitch, that's a Nemo!

A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground. The father approaches his son and asks what he's looking at. The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they're doing. They father replies that the two spiders are having sex. It's a completely natural thing that a mommy and daddy do when they love each other. The son then asks if one is a daddy long leg and the other is a mommy long leg. The father says that they're both daddy long legs. The son stomps on them, killing them. The father asks why he did that. The boy replies "I don't want any of that faggot-ass shit in my yard."

The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.

A man is walking home when he sees a dog buying meat for his owner. The man watches the dog when the butcher takes a little to much and growls and him until he gets the right amount. The man follows the dog and watches as the dog stands on two legs and helps an old lady across the street. Amazed the man follows the dog home and watches the dog ring the doorbell. When the owner comes to the door the owner takes the bags and tells the dog to stay in the front yard. Frustrated the man goes up to the owner and yells "This dog is amazing! He gets your groceries, makes sure you have the exact change, helps old ladies across the street and this is how you treat him!" The owner replies, "I know but,this is the 3rd time this week he left his keys".

Q: How does a blonde kill a worm? A: She burys it.

How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end? It was won by a hare.

There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why? Because that was the end of May!