Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."
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Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods.
Cats have never forgotten this.
A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today"
The boss asks why and the guy says "it's my eyes."
"What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss.
"I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..."
What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny.
Q: If a horses foot covers 2 acres of land, what will his tail cover?
A: His ass!
Teacher: Billy, how do you spell "Crocodile"?
Billy: ‘K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Billy: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields.
The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."
The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
What's a rabbits favorite book?
Hop on Pop.
Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
A: De-calf-i-nated.
This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted.
The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car.
The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"