Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."
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Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse?
It got angry and bit at the champ!
Lara Rabbit: "Do you think that's Sophie's natural color?"
Zara Rabbit: "Only her hare dresser knows for sure."
What happened to the cannibal lion?
He had to swallow his pride!
An aquarium is just interactive television for cats.
Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.
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There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: "Help me, please help me! There is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous, by the way who is calling?"
"I’m Josephine’s parrot you jerk!"
"Help me please, please help!"
A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom's annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making.
Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn't quit it.
The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn't close a large suitcase.
The groom said, "Darling, you get on top and I'll try." That didn't work.
Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try."
Still no success.
So, he said, "Look. Let's both get on top."
At that point the parrot pulled away the towel with his beak and said: "Zoo or no zoo.
I just gotta see this."
What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?
Eski-moos.
Did you hear about the man who named his horse Radish?