I thought I told you to lose weight. Says the coach. What happened to your three week diet that I told you to keep? Well, I finished it in three days!
Golfer: "Well caddy, do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf."
Off the seventh tee, Joe sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine. He took his eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball. After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something glistening in the leaves. As he drew nearer, he discovered that it was an eight iron in hands of a skeleton! Joe immediately called out to his friend, "Jack, I've got trouble down here!" "What's the matter?" Jack asked from the edge of the ravine. "Bring me my wedge," Joe shouted. "You can't get out of here with an eight iron!"
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can stab you with a basketball- Brandon De La Riva.
Barcelona beats every team in the world, Chuck Norris can beat Barcelona... by himself.
Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Moses parts the water and chips the ball onto the green. Jesus steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Jesus just walks on the water and chips the ball onto the green. The old man steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and heads for the water trap. But, just before it falls into the water, a fish jumps up and grabs the ball in its mouth. As the fish is falling back down into the water, an eagle swoops down and grabs the fish in its claws. The eagle flies over the green where a lightning bolt shoots from the sky and barely misses it. Startled, the eagle drops the fish. When the fish hits the ground, the ball pops out of its mouth and rolls into the hole for a hole-in-one. Jesus then turns to the old man and says, "Dad, if you don’t stop fooling around, we won’t bring you next time."
Lebron better than Jordan? Ha! Yea right. Talk to me when Lebron saves the looney tunes from an alien race.
Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college? A: A Basketball player.
What is the noisiest game? Squash – because you can’t play it without raising a racquet!