Joke #2547

I thought I told you to lose weight. Says the coach. What happened to your three week diet that I told you to keep? Well, I finished it in three days!

Chuck Norris can get a touchdown in baseball.

One recent Sunday, a young boy arrived to his Sunday school class late. His teacher knew that the boy was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong. The boy replied no, that he was going to go fishing, but that his dad told him that he needed to go to church instead. The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his father had explained to him why it was more important to go to church rather than to go fishing. To which the boy replied, "Yes, ma'am, he did. My dad said that he didn't have enough bait for both of us."

Golfer: "Well caddy, do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf."

Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.

There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks. No one finished it. Why? Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick. It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!

Yo'Mama is so stupid, she threw a baseball at Batman.

You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me." Sports Broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."

I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.

On the ninth day, God said, "Let there be soccer." And it was good. Later on that day, God said, "Let there be one team to rule the others and set the standard for excellence." God said, "Let it be called the Manchester United." Later that day, God said, "Even Man U needs idiots." So HE made their fans.

I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?