What time does Andy Murray go to his bed?
Ten-ish.
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You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me."
Sports Broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."
I think that it is better to give that to get.
You have a very generous thinking.
Are you a humanitarian?
No, I’m a boxer.
A sailor and a priest were playing golf.
The sailor took his first shot missed and said, "F**k, I missed."
Surprised, the priest replied, "Don’t use that kind of language or god will punish you."
The sailor took aim and hit his shot second shot.
Again he missed and under his breath the said, "I f**k’n missed again."
The priest overheard and replied, "My son, please don’t use that language or god will punish you."
The sailor took his third shot and once again he couldn’t help mutter, "Oh f**k" The priest said, "That’s it god will certainly punish you."
Suddenly a bolt of lightning came down and killed the priest.
In the distance a deep voice said, "F**K, I Missed."
Q. What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
A. The PGA tour
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Hey babe, let's play football!
You can have first down.
High five!
Yo mama so fat when she went sky diving in a blue jump suit, all the kids below said, "Ahhhh! The sky is falling!"
Q: What did the basketball say when he got deflated?
A: "Oh balls."
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A golfer tried three straight times to hit a golf ball over the inlet of water between him and the green.
But each time the ball splashes into the drink.
In utter frustration the golfer said, "Caddie, take my clubs on in, I'm going to jump into the water and drown myself."
The caddie replied, "I doubt that, sir. You couldn't keep your head down long enough to drown!"
Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.
Peter goes golfing every Saturday.
One Saturday, he comes home tired and five hours late.
His wife asks him, "What took you so long?"
Peter says, "That was the worst game of golf I've ever had.
We got up to the first tee, and Harry hit a hole-in-one and immediately dropped dead of a heart attack."
Peter's wife says, "OMG!
That's terrible!"
Peter says, "I know.
Then, for the rest of the game, it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry. . ."