What time does Andy Murray go to his bed?
Ten-ish.
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Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class?
A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
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Chuck Norris once won a three-legged race... By himself.
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A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him.
"I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw.
"You always lose control at the same point in every game."
"When is that?"
"Right after the National Anthem."
Whats the difference between usain bolt and hitler?
Usain bolt can finish a race...
Q: What did the basketball say to the player?
A: Please don't shoot me.
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Why did the basketball player go to jail?
"Because he shot the ball!"
It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice.
He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty.
He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there.
"No" says the neighbor.
"The seat is empty."
"This is incredible," said the man.
"Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?"
The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away.
This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married."
"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
That's terrible...
But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head.
"No,” he says.
“They're all at the funeral."
Mama Bear and Papa Bear are accused of child abuse. Baby Bear is put on the stand.
The judge says, "Do you want to live with Papa Bear?" "No," Baby Bear replies.
"He beats me."
The judge then asks, "Do you want to live with Mama Bear?"
"No," Baby Bear replies.
"She beats me too."
So the judge says, "So who do you want to live with?"
Baby Bear replies, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears, they never beat anybody."
Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college?
A: A Basketball player.
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