Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A. "Is that you mommy?"
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An Arabic kid joined my football team.
All he did was blow the plays.
When terrorists feed their children, do they use the airplane method of "open wide" while making airplane noises?
Or do they just smash it into their faces?
Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table.
The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat.
"I’ll have some fuckin’ French toast," he says.
The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs.
She asks the middle child what he wants.
"Well, I guess that leaves more fuckin’ French toast for me," he says.
She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away.
Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast.
"I don’t know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don’t want the fuckin’ French toast."
Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator?
A: The elevator can raise a child.
Q: What animal has the most kids.
A: A sperm whale.
Mary can't stand Sunday school, but her brother William doesn't have a problem with it.
So one day in Sunday school, Mary thinks, "The hell with it," and decides to go to sleep.
The teacher sees this and asks Mary a question to keep her awake.
"Mary, who created the heavens and the earth?"
William, who is sitting behind Mary, pokes her in the butt with his pencil. Mary wakes up and shouts, "God almighty!"
And the teacher says, "Yes. That's correct, Mary."
Mary goes back to sleep and the teacher asks her another question.
"Who died on the cross for our sins?"
William pokes Mary again. She wakes up and shouts, "Jesus Christ!"
Once again, she goes back to sleep.
This time the teacher asks, "Mary, what was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"
William pokes her again.
Mary wakes up and shouts, "If you don't stop poking me with that thing, I'm gonna break it off!"
Little Johnny: "I've piss may I go out?"
Teacher : "Piss is an impolite word instead you say I've number 1."
Jimmy: "May I go out? I want to shit."
Teacher: "Shit is also a bad word it is better to use number 2 instead."
Ronald: "There is a wind in my belly give me please a number for it."
Vote:
Teacher: "What does a duck say?"
Jenny: "Quack Quack"
Teacher: "What does a cow say?"
Madison: "Moo"
Teacher: "What does a pig say?"
Little Johnny: "A pig says *holds up gun* get on the wall, you motherfucker!"
Vote:
Joke has 55.72 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, kids, little Johnny, vulgar
When I was born, everyone was so happy.
Even the doctor said, ‘I think it’s a baby.’