Joke #255

Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus? A. "Is that you mommy?"
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has 39.30 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: kids

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A mother and father took their 6 year old son to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why. She told her son, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger willies than his dad. His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play. Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly tells his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."
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has 71.37 % from 220 votes. More jokes about: age, kids, stupid
Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move? A: The splits!
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: food, gym, kids, sport
Why do bears have fur coats? (Because they look silly wearing jackets!)
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has 34.88 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: kids
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
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has 85.38 % from 3221 votes. More jokes about: catholic, chocolate, food, god, kids
What's white, furry, and shaped like a tooth? (A molar bear!)
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has 15.27 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: kids
Q: Where does your nose go, when it gets hungry? A: Booger King!!!
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has 31.06 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: kids
Three boys are walking home from school and they see a naked woman. One of them runs away the other two stay to watch. The next day they are walking home from school and they see the naked woman again, and again the same boy runs away. Another day later they are walking home and they see the naked woman again, as the boy tries to run away the other boys grab him and ask, "What are you gay or something don't you like looking at naked women?" He replied, "Yeah, I love looking at naked women but my mom said that if I see one I'll turn into stone and I feel something starting to get hard."
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has 68.14 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: gay, kids, school, women
The town’s local council remarks that the best lawyer in town never made a donation to charity tendency. To convince him, the mayor calls him in his office: Sir, I remarked that you’re revenue reached a number of $600.000. With all these, you never made a donation to the charity... If you looked into my files, did you also remark that my mother is sick, and the medicaments she needs exceed her funds? No... answers mayor. In second place, my brother, war veteran, is condemned in a wheelchair and he’s blind. The mayor started apologizing, but was interrupted: And more, my sister died into a car accident and left tree children orphans. Stunned, the mayor says: I didn’t know, please accept my apologies... But the lawyer continues: I don’t see why I should give you any money, if I don’t ever give them money...
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: health, kids, lawyer, money
While having their evening dinner together, a little girl looked up at her father and asked, "Daddy, you're the boss in our family, right?" The father was very pleased to hear it and confidently replied, "Yes my little princess." The girl then continued, "That's because mommy put you in charge, right?"
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, kids
Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: dad, fart, kids, weed