Joke #255

Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus? A. "Is that you mommy?"
Vote:
has 38.65 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: kids

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bulldoser.
Vote:
has 53.67 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: kids
Q: What is the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? A: the boy Scott gets to go home after camp.
Vote:
has 64.37 % from 169 votes. More jokes about: black humor, jewish, kids, morbid
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed went itself out of fear.
Vote:
has 44.67 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids
What did the black kid get for Christmas? YOUR BIKE!
Vote:
has 58.24 % from 279 votes. More jokes about: black people, Christmas, kids, racist
Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.
Vote:
has 35.73 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids, military
A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."
Vote:
has 42.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: car, dad, driving, kids
Q: Why couldn't the witch have children? A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Vote:
has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, husband, kids
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!" "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
Vote:
has 38.50 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, ugly
Kids dream about having superpowers. Superpowers dream about having Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids
One day, little Suzie was strolling around the house and just happened to pass by her sister’s room. She heard her sister say on the phone to her boy friend. “Your such an as***!” and she hung up. Suzie asked what as*** had meant and her sister sayin “Uh… it means… uhh.. boyfriend!”. Suzie is delighted to hear a new nice word. Then,She was walking past the bathroom where her dad was shaving. Her dad had cut himself and yelled “SHIT!” Then turniing around saw little Suzie ask what shit means. Dad, being quite shocked answered “It uhh.. It.. It means shaving cream.” Then, Suzie walked downstairs to help her mom with the dinner turkey. Suzie’s dad’s boss was coming to dinner tonight. When Suzie went in the kitchen, her mom accidently cut herself yelled”F***k!”. Suzie asked what f***k meant and mom replied ” it..it..it uummm…it means cut… yeah, cut.” Just as mom said that, the doorbell rang and asked Suzie to go and get it. When Suzie opened the door, her dad’s boss was standing there. Boss asked” Well hello young lady! Can I ask where your family is? ”Then Suzie said” Well, my sister’s upstairs talking to her as*** on the phone, my dad’s in the bathroom wiping the shit off his face and my mom’s in the kitchen f***g the turkey!”
Vote:
has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, kids, phone