Joke #255

Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus? A. "Is that you mommy?"
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has 38.65 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: kids

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath!!!!
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has 18.81 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: kids
Two little kids are in hospital beds next to each other. The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?” The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.” The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of jelly and ice-cream. It’s a breeze.” “Cool,” says the second kid.” “What are you in here for?” “A circumcision.” “Whoa!” exclaims the second kid. “Good luck, mate. I had that done just after I was born and I couldn’t walk for a year.”
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has 80.12 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: age, hospital, kids
A 5 year old and a 3 year old are upstairs in their bedroom "You know what?" says the 5 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing." The 3 year old nods his head in approval, so the 5 year old says, "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?" "Ok" the 3 year old, agrees with enthusiasm. The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 5 year old what he wants for breakfast. "Shit mum, I don't know, I suppose I'll have some Fruit Loops." (WHACK...she spanks him) He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. She looked at the 3 year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know mum, but it won't be fucking Fruit Loops."
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: age, food, kids
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bulldoser.
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has 54.08 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: kids
Q: How big are the pastro's beds? A: Oh c'mon, it knows every little kid.
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has 23.37 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kids, religious, sex
Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
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has 68.12 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, kids
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
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has 76.26 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: baby, car, kids, wife
Yo mama so fat, her kids come out of her all at once.
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: fat, kids, Yo mama
Handy hint: Feed your baby onions so you can find it in the dark.
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: kids
Bertie comes sadly to his mommy and says, "Mom, the kids have been mean to me. They keep teasing me that my feet are too big. Please tell me honestly. Are my feet to big?" "Of course not, Bertie. Now go put your shoes in the garage, the dinner is ready."
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: kids, mean, ugly