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On Unix, I always hide all of my personal files in the /bin/laden directory.
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HR manager to job candidate: ‘I see you’ve had no computer training.
Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.’
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Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage.
Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer.
Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead.
During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring.
Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: "Well, don't you have something to ask me?"
Dave then got down on bended knee.
"Honey," he said, "Will you buy me a new computer?"
How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted computer scientist?
An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.
C program run.
C program crash.
C programmer quit.
Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea.
Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
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I keep hitting “escape”, but I’m still here.
Bill Gates dies and goes to God.
God says to him:
Because you invented the screen saver I give you the possibility to go wherever you want.
God shoes Bill that in hell there are lots of naked chicks and beaches.
So he chooses hell.
After a while God returns and asks him if he like’s it there.
Bill says:
No! Where are all the chicks you just showed me?
Oh that! That was just a screen saver.
Q: How do you fix a broken website?
A: With stick e-tape.
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