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Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
Programmer.
A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.
3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar.
A little while later they walked out because they couldn't find a table.
Q: What is height of Craziness?
A: Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
Algorithm.
Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.
A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range.
He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away.
The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit.
They shout to him that he missed completely.
The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer.
The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off.
He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here!
The problem must be at your end!’
Caller: Hey, can you help me? My computer has locked up, and no matter how many times
I type eleven, it won’t unfreeze.
Agent: What do you mean, “type eleven?”
Caller: The message on my screen says, “Error Type 11!”