Joke #4077

Hit any user to continue.
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Who said Windows 98 is a virus was wrong. Why? Because a virus does something.
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How do insects communicate? By bee mail.
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Why did the boy mouse like the girl mouse? They just seemed to click.
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Fed up with your computer winning at chess? Try it at kick-boxing instead!
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Warning! User Error. Kindly replace user and press a key to continue.
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I had a programming problem and decided to use regular expressions to solve it. Now I have two problems.
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How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.
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Do files get embarrassed when they’re unzipped?
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Every mobile phone user has complained like this: Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.
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New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies... I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe... I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support." When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. I will think of a password other than "password." I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
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