Joke #2558

Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky." The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake." The third man said, "My Jack was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."

What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common? They both get loaded from the rear and go whoo-whoo!

Q: How do 5 gay men walk? A: One Direction!

Two firemen are butt fucking in a smoked filled room. The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?" Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says: "I did how do you think all this shit got started..."

One day a magical frog sees a bear chasing after a rabbit for dinner. In an attempt to bring peace to his magical forest, the frog hops up to the two and promises them 3 wishes each if they stop this violence. After both animals agreed, the frog chooses the bear to state his first wish, first. After thinking for a while, the bear says, "I wish for all the bears in this forest to be female except me." Next is the rabbit's turn, "I wish for a motorcycle helmet," he says. The bear laughed, what an idiotic wish to make he thought to himself. The bear then says, "I wish for all the bears in this country to be female except me." The rabbit next says, "I wish for a motorcycle that requires no gas." The bear, almost tearing from laughter, says, "You could have wished for money to get those two things!" He then proceeds to make his final wish, after thinking for a while, he says to the frog, "I wish for all the bears in the world to be female except for me!" He smiles smugly. The rabit then puts on his helmet, hops on his motorcycle, grins to the bear and says, "I wish for this bear to be gay."

Six mates were seated at the bar, each trying to impress one another with the size of their dicks. The bragging went on for almost an hour, and the bartender got tired of hearing about cocks, so he said, "Let's put an end to all this crap and find out who's lying and who isn't. Each of you whip out your dong and lay it on the bar." All six of them did. Just at that moment a faggot walked into the bar, and the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink. The queer looked down the bar, and in a lisping voice, he said, "No thanks, I'll just have some of the buffet."

4 gay guys walk into a bar and notice there is one stool left. One gay guy suggest to play rock, paper, scissors and the other gay guy says. "Stop all this nonsense. Lets just flip the stool over."

Three desperately ill men go to their docter seeking help. One is and alcoholic, One is a chain smoker and the other is gay. The doctor tells the men if you indulge in any of your habits again you will die. So the three men leave and then the alcoholic sees a bar and hears its loud music and can't resist. He orders a shot of whisky drinks it and suddenly drops down dead the other two men walk out side realising how serious this is, but then the chain smoker sees a half a ciggarette on the ground still burning so the gay guy says to the chain smoker "if you bend over to pick that up were both dead"

Did you hear about the two lesbians who bought an organ so they could play hymns?

Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!". The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"

Q: What do you call it when someone farts in a gay bar? A: A love call.