What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools?
A fruit stand.
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Q:How do you know when you are at a gay picnic?
A:When all the hot dogs taste like shit!
What's the definition of a poofter?
A bloke who enlarges the circle of his friends!
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the men's delight, she points out the happy child as theirs.
''Isn't it wonderful?'' Brad exclaims. ''All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy.''
''He's happy now," says the nurse. "But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his ass.''
What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?
Fur traders.
Two Rabbits are running from a group of foxes.
They hide in a pile of hay, one rabbit says to the other one "Ok we can run for it or we can stay here and out number them."
And the other rabbit says, "We're going to run for it you idiot I'm your brother."
"It's a boy," I shouted, as tears began to roll down my cheeks.
"I can't believe it, it really is a boy."
That's when I swore never to return to Thailand.
"Hey, I have a magic dildo for sale," he says.
"What? There's no such thing," she replied.
"No seriously, if you don't believe me try it out in the bathroom. All you have to say is 'magic dildo my pussy.'"
A bit skeptical she agrees and takes the dildo to the bathroom.
A few minutes later she comes out.
"Wow, that was great!" She says.
She ends up buying the dildo and leaves the store.
On the drive home she starts to feel a little frisky and figures why not try out the magic dildo.
Well she's really enjoying herself.
The car is swerving and she rolls through a red.
She ends up getting pulled over by a cop.
After she rolls down her window she tells him the whole story.
She explains about the magic dildo and the shop.
The cop says, "Magic dildo my ass."
There was this man who walked into a bar and says to the bartender 10 shots of whiskey.
The bartender asks, "What's the matter?"
The man says, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend."
The next day the same man comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey.
The bartenders asks, "What's wrong this time?"
The man says, "I found out that my son is gay."
The next day the same man comes in the bar and orders 15 shots of whiskey.
Then the bartender asks, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?"
The man looks up and says, "Apprently my wife does."
Two firemen are butt fucking in a smoked filled room.
The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?"
Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says:
"I did how do you think all this shit got started..."
As he drove along the highway, a guy kept seeing billboards with beautiful, tanned people and the words: Visit the Garden of Hedon.
His curiosity got the best of him and he turned off the road at the entrance to the place a few miles down the road.
He went inside a building marked "Registration" and saw an attractive woman sitting at a desk.
"Exactly what do you do here?" he asked.
"It's quite simple," said the receptionist.
"This is a nudist camp. We take off all our clothes and commune with nature."
"Cool," said the guy, "count me in!"
So he paid his membership fee, took off his gear and strolled off.
As he walked along a path, he saw a big sign which read, "Beware of Gays."
A little further along he saw another sign which read the same thing: "Beware of Gays."
He continued walking until he came to a small clearing which had a bronze plaque set in the ground.
He bent over to read the plaque and it said, "Sorry, you've had two warnings!"
