Joke #1623

What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand.

In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister. The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back." Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession. "Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable. I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex." Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation. Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do. So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the minister give for oral sex?" In reply the altar boy said, "Two Snickers bars and a Coke."

Two fags are on a picnic,and the first guy says,"I have to take a dumpski,"and he walks into the woods to do it. Several minutes later,the other guy hears the first guy crying "Boo Hoo,I Had A Miscarriage. I Had A Miscarriage." He runs into the woods to see what is going on. When he gets there,the first guy is still crying,"Boo-Hoo I Had a Miscarriage... He looks down and says,"Don't be silly. You didn't have a miscarraige. You had diarrhea on a toad."

There were two guys at a gym Dan and Mike who hit the showers after a hard morning workout. Dan said to Mike "Hey! Have you heard? That there is a gay guy at our gym today." The Mike looking really curious and replies "Oh? Who do you think he is?" Dan looks at Mike from mid-section to eye level and, says "Let me give you a kiss first before I tell you who."

How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains.

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time." Said the Marine. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."

I think my sons gay...I took off the seat of his bike, and he didn't notice.

Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Megasoreass.

Q: Whats the most popular pick up line in a gay bar? A: "May I push in your stool?"

Q: Why can't gays drive faster than 68mph? A: Because at 69 they blow a rod.

A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan they were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From the inside they head a Pakistani accent say, "you foreigners come in. Come in my humble shop." so the married couple walked in. The Pakistani man said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you'd be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great dessert camel" Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man had claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being a sex hero he as. The husband, "how could sandals make you into a sex freak?" The Pakistani man replied, why don't you see for yourself?" Well , the husband after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped then onto this feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in years-- raw sexual power. In a blink of an eye the husband rushed of too the Pakistani man threw him on the table and started tearing at the guy's pants. All the time the Pakistani man was screaming, "YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET"