Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours. Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour. As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says: Gorgonzola! Wait, it is not on yet.
Q: What did dick say to rubber? A: "Cover me I'm going in."
I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.
It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
Son: "What's love juice daddy?" Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway? What are you watching?" Son: "Wimbledon."
A husband and wife are walking down the street when a beautiful young woman blows the husband a kiss. ‘I met her last week,’ explains the husband. ‘Professionally of course.’ The wife replies, ‘Which profession? Yours or hers?’
A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?" Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.