A young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered a butcher shop and confronted the butcher with the news that the baby was his and asked what he was going to do about it?
He said he'd offer to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16.
She agreed.
The butcher had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."
"I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."
When the boy arrived home he told his mother.
The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!"
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A man and woman are lying in bed after a disappointing bout of sex.
‘You’ve got a very small organ,’ says the woman.
The man replies, ‘Well I didn’t know I’d be playing in the Albert Hall.’
A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?"
"Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you."
The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey.
One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first."
The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey.
Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?"
"We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."
The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a caller asked, ‘Doctor, why do men always want to marry a virgin?’
To which the doctor responded, ‘To avoid criticism.’
Why do so many women fake orgasm?
Because so many men fake foreplay.
A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.
When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.
His dad thought for a while and answered, "Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future."
"I still don't get it" responded the Little Johnny.
"Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better," said the dad.
"Okay then...good night" said Little Jonny went off to bed.
In the middleof the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying.
He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper.
So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help.
When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep.
Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, buthis dad wasn't there.
So he went to the maid's room.
When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid.
Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized somethingand thinks aloud,
"OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, andthe future is full of shit!"
Sex isn’t the answer.
Sex is the question.
Yes is the answer.
What did the elephant say to the nude man?
‘It’s cute, but can it pick up peanuts?’
John Leslie has been accused of raping a disabled black girl on Blue Peter.
He blamed it on dyslexia & said he thought the script said, use sticky black spastic.
Vote:
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.