Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."
My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!
Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
Whats six inches long, has a head on it and drives women wild ? A fifty pound note !
Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice. Except for Chris Brown.
You know who's mad at Kobe? Every other player in the NBA. You know why? Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring. Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum. Cause you know how women are, man. Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"
Q: Why dont black women wear panties to picknics? A: To keep the flies off the chicken
I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
Two old women were talking about their sex lives. Ethel was upset because her sex life had really died, while Mildred said her sex life was great. Mildred counseled Ethel, "When my Sammy is getting ready for bed, I get undressed, lie on the bed, and put both legs behind my head. When he sees me like that, he gets so excited, we have wild sex the rest of the night." Ethel said, "I'm going to try that tonight." While Ethel's husband Harold was in the bathroom that night, she took off all her clothes. She struggled to get both legs behind her head. After accomplishing this great feat, Ethel fell backwards and couldn't move. Harold came out of the bathroom with a shocked look on his face. "For God's sake Ethel, comb your hair and put your teeth in. You look like an a**hole."