Joke #2633

How many divorced Women does it take to screw in a light bulb? 4,1 to screw in the bulb, 3 to form a support group.

There were three nuns, they all told the priest that they were going to do one sin each. So the priest says ok, do your sins, come back, and I’ll bless you. So, they went to do their sins and came back to get blessed. The priest asked the first one who was laughing what her sin was. She said, "I had sex with a guy." The priest said ok, blessed her and said go drink some holy water. So she did! The next one was laughing harder, and the priest asked her what her sin was. She said, "I got in a fight with another nun." So he says ok, blessed her and told her to go drink some holy water. So she did. The priest asked the last one who was laughing even harder what she did. And as she was laughing she said, "I pissed in the holy water!"

Trafic policeman: "Didn't you hear my whistle, madam?" Woman driver: "Yes, but I don't like flirting while I'm driving."

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!" They each continue on their way, and ... as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ... and dies immediately. If only men would listen...

What is the difference between girls aged:8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68? At 8 – You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 – You tell her a story and take her to bed. At 28 – You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed. At 38 – She tells you a story and takes you to bed. At 48 – You tell her a story to avoid going to bed. At 58 – You stay in bed to avoid her story. At 68 – If you take her to bed, that’ll be a story!

What four animals does a woman like to have in her house? A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.

If the Earth turned 30 times faster, we would get salary every day, but women would bleed to death...

Q:What's the definition of mixed emotions? A:When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.

As someone died, Saint. Peter gave him a tour to the new place. While wandering he sees an old familiar guy who was accompanied by a very ugly woman. He asks Saint Peter: "But how does the man walks around with a woman like that when he spent his life with the most beautiful women?" "Oh my child, he killed a pigeon when he was alive and now he is being punished." They walk further down, and meets another friend with a frighteningly ugly women. "Holy God but he was circulated only by models when he was alive, how come he withstands this now?" "O my child that man killed two pigeons when he was alive." They continued wandering and suddenly he sees someone who was so ugly and stupid and never had any woman when he lived. But he was accompanied by THE WOMAN! Extra tall and hotty. The man lost his mind. "Holy God, but such an ugly face with such a gorgeous woman?" "Yes my son, but this hotty burned the whole pigeon house, when she was alive!"

Think of the hottest woman. Chuck Norris did her.

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Priest said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"