Joke #2645

The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole. Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness. “Exactly where were you at the time of the accident?” inquired the officer. “Mister,” exclaimed the telephone lineman, “I was at the top of the pole!”
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: cop

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Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?" The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
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has 62.10 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but was not getting many. Then, he discovered the problem; a 10 year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read, "SPEED TRAP AHEAD". The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign painted "TIPS" and a bucket of change.
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has 80.88 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: cop
A policeman sees a car weaving all over the road and hits his flashing lights. He walks up to the driver's window and sees a good looking woman behind the wheel. There is a strong smell liquor on her breath. He says, "I'm going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol." She blows up the balloon and he walks it back to his patrol unit. After a couple of minutes, he returns to her car and says, "It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones." She replies, "You mean it shows that, too?"
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, drunk
The cop got out of his car and the kid, who was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
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has 73.52 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
A boy speeding on road. Guard stops him and ask, "Did you see the speed limit sign?" The boy says, "Yea, I just didnt see you."
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has 74.15 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: cop
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she called the police to report a suspicious looking person lurking in her mirror.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: cop, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
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has 20.26 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: cop, light bulb
Why did the policeman carry a pencil and a piece of very thin paper? He wanted to trace someone.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: cop
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned: “I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!”
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: cop
A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go." The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"
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has 85.15 % from 841 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, wife