How many men does it take to please a woman.
Impossible.
Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep.
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Q: How many Asian girls does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, 'cause they couldn't reach it.
Vote:
2 girls meet:
"Me & my husband are no longer together..."
"Why?"
"Well, could you live with a person who smokes weed, drinks, has no job and always cusses?"
"No, of course I couldn't!"
"Well he couldn't either!"
Why did the woman cross the road?
That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates
A: Hugh Hefner.
Jennifer, wanna go to my place?
I am not Jennifer
But I didn't ask about that...
Q: What do a woman and a bar have in common?
A: Liquor in the front, Poker in the back.
Boy calls 911.
Boy: Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what's your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.
The honeymoon couple left the wedding reception and hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills.
The driver wasn’t too sure how to get there, so he told the couple he would ask directions when they got closer to their destination.
Meanwhile, the lovers couldn’t wait to get busy, so they got down to business in the back seat.
During the couple’s moment of passion, the cabdriver noticed a fork in the road, and said, "I take the next turn, right?"
"Screw NO, get your own woman," said the groom, "this one’s all mine!"
A woman and baby are in the doctors surgery, the doc is concerned about the babys weight, "Is he bottle fed or breast fed?
The woman replies, "Breast fed."
The doc gets her to strip down to her waist so he can examine her breasts.
He pinches her nipples and sucks and rubs both breasts for a while ...
"No wonder the baby is underweight, you have no milk."
Woman replies, "I know, Im his granny ... but Im glad I came!"
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel.
After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead.
No sign of the blonde.
After 12 hours they decide they'd better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on shore.
They rush over to her and wrap her in warm blankets and give her a hot drink.
After a few minutes, she is breathing easier and says, "I don't like to tattle, but I think those other ladies were using their arms!"