How many men does it take to please a woman. Impossible. Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep.
An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him. "What'll you have?" he asked. "Oh, I don't know. The same as you I suppose," she replied. So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in one shot. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out. "Yuck, that's TERRIBLE!" she spluttered. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff!" "Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"
Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"
Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 40.
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly." On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?" "Yes", the boy's mother answered. "And how is your son now?" the psychiatrist asked. "Who cares?" the mother replied.
Question: How do you fix a woman’s watch? Answer: You don’t. There’s a clock on the stove.
Q: Do you know what 69 is? A: It's a good thing screwed up by a period.
Maths and Girls are the most complicated things, but Maths at least has some logic.
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!" They each continue on their way, and ... as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ... and dies immediately. If only men would listen...
Q: Why do black women lose their hair at an early age? A: From all of the hair pulling during rape.