Joke #2650

How many men does it take to please a woman. Impossible. Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep.
Vote:
has 31.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: women

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: What Valentine's Day candy is best to give a girl? A: Her-She Kisses.
Vote:
has 76.89 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: food, Valentines day, women
A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm. The doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it. The woman replied, snorting pepper.
Vote:
has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: women
A single woman who retired just a few months back walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch in her neighborhood. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said.
Vote:
has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, life, old people, women
One day a women walks into work in a short skirt. As she’s walking to her desk she gets stopped by a co-worker, who says, “Your hair smells really nice today.” She grimaces and stomps into her manager’s office. She says,”I want to file a sexual harassment complaint!” and then relates what happened. The manager says, “What’s wrong with him complimenting how your hair smells?” Furious, she snarls, “He’s a midget!”
Vote:
has 62.81 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, women, work
Teacher: "Ramu, you talk a lot !" Ramu: "It's a family tradition". Teacher: "What do you mean?" Ramu: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher". Teacher: "What about your mother?" Ramu: "She's a woman".
Vote:
has 72.56 % from 141 votes. More jokes about: family, school, teacher, women
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized."
Vote:
has 66.68 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, women
First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?" Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
Vote:
has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, women
You know who's mad at Kobe? Every other player in the NBA. You know why? Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring. Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum. Cause you know how women are, man. Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"
Vote:
has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: mean, money, sport, women
A Woman asks a Waiter What is this fly doing in my Ice cream? The waiter says, "SHIVERING MADAM".
Vote:
has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: women
This mothers day, Men all around were criticized for not calling their mothers on such an important day. But me, I thought of the best way to get out of such a mess. Heres how the beginning of the Monday after Mothers Day went for me: Mother: "You know Mike, I was thinking and out of all my sons, you never called me on Mothers Day!" Me: "You know Mom, I was thinking, and out of all my mothers, you never called me on SON-day!" Something like this is bound to make her smile and forget, worked with my Mom!
Vote:
has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, time, women