Joke #2650

How many men does it take to please a woman. Impossible. Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep.
Vote:
has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: women

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed-off and watched in horror as the ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She then explained that she was a physical therapist and offered to help ease his "pain." "Please allow me to help, I am a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd just allow me!" She told him earnestly. "ohh No, I'll be alright...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch. The woman takes it upon herself to begin to "ease his pain". She began to massage his groin. After a few moments she asked, "does that feel better?" The man looked up at her and replied, "yes, that feels pretty good ... but my thumb still hurts like hell!"
Vote:
has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: golf, sport, women
I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
Vote:
has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: women
Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
Vote:
has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, sex, time, women
At a dancing party a shy boy approached a girl and asked, "Will you dance with me, please?" The arrogant girl says, "I don’t dance with a kid." The taken back boy apologized, "I am sorry, I did not realize you were pregnant."
Vote:
has 82.59 % from 239 votes. More jokes about: kids, music, women
What four animals does a woman like to have in her house? A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.
Vote:
has 78.55 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, mean, money, women
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have balls to scratch.
Vote:
has 77.86 % from 161 votes. More jokes about: women
Look up "rib" in the dictionary and it says "To vex, irritate or annoy." Look up "rib" in the Bible and it says "Woman." Coincidence?
Vote:
has 81.84 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: bible, communication, women
A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face. His best man asks, "Why do you look so excited?" The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me." The bride waits at the other end of the aisle with a huge smile on her face. Her maid of honor asks, "Why do you look so excited?" The bride replies, "I just gave the last blow job of my entire life."
Vote:
has 85.47 % from 1139 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, women
I’m leaving you... You’re constantly sneering at my overweight... But honey, what about our kid? What kid? So you are not you pregnant?!
Vote:
has 59.89 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: kids, women
Q: Why are hangovers better than women? A: Hangovers will go away.
Vote:
has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: women