A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem.
Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm.
The doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it.
The woman replied, snorting pepper.
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Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates
A: Hugh Hefner.
Why do women love Hunters the best as lovers?
1. Hunters have the longest and most powerful rifles.
2. Hunters always....shoot twice.
3. Hunters love to...eat what they shoot!
A Pontiac takes examinations for the driver’s licence for the fourth year in a row.
The examiner asks him "So, you’re running on the street. You have a mountain on your right and there’s a cliff on your left. There are two women in your way; the one young and the other an old woman. Which one are you going to hit?"
"Of course the old woman!"
The examinet frustrated "I told you last year! You hit the brakes!"
There was this old woman who heard a song called “Two Lips and Seven Kisses.”
She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company.
In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, “Do you have “Two Lips and Seven Kisses?”
The gas station attendant who answered the phone said, “No, but I have two nuts and seven inches!”
So the woman asked, “Is this a record?”
To which the man replied, “No, its average!”
Q: Why do women have periods?
A: Because they deserve them.
Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
The woman opposite the road from me called me a pervert earlier, I don't know why!
Knowing she likes bird watching I asked her if she'd like to come over and have a look at my twelve finches.
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can’t stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: “What’s threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?”
The woman replies: “It’s Frank, the midget.”
Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
A: You don't...there's a clock on the oven!