Joke #2655

If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.

What king of money do fishermen make? Net profits!

A divorce court judge said to the husband,"Mr Geraghty,I have reviewed this case very carefully and I've decided to give your wife $800 a week." "That's very fair,your honour," he replied. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

In Chuck Norris' yard, money does grow on trees.

Yo momma is so poor for Christmas she got a box, put two sticks on it, spun it and said son here's your xbox 360.

The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will." "That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change."

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

How do you find the population of a Mexican village? Roll a quarter down the street.r

At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army."

Steve lies dying, as Jack, his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside. "Jack, I've got to confess -- I've been sleeping with your wife for 30 years, I'm the father of your daughter, and I've been stealing from the firm for a decade." "Relax," says Jack, "and don't think another thing about it. I'm the one who put arsenic in your martini."