The Captain called the Sergeant in.
“Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother died yesterday.
Better go tell him and send him in to see me.”
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops.
“Listen up, men,” says the Sergeant.
“Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers.
The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance.
Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander.”
Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office.
“Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died.
Couldn’t you be a bit more tactful, next time?”
“Yes, sir,” answered the Sarge.
A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with,
“Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath’s mother died.
You’d better go tell him and send him in to see me.
This time be more tactful.”
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation.
“Ok, men, fall in and listen up.”
“Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward.”
“Not so fast, McGrath!”
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: What is Iraq's national bird ?
A: Duck.
Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile ?
A: Aeroflot has killed more people.
Q: How do you play Iraqi bingo ?
A: B-52...F-16...A-10.
Q: Why do all Iraqi soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper?
A: They need a map....
The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others."
Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
Vote:
The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier, "I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning."
"Thank you very much, sir."
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.
The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass?
You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"
So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!
The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?"
"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs.
I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up.
I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
Q: What do you call a roman warrior after oral sex?
A: Gladiator.
An Indian chief is driving his Cadillac somewhere at Nevada.
Suddenly his car gets broken.
He examines it, and reveals that a technician must be called.
But the chief has only $4, and no credit card. So he gathers some wood, makes a fire and signals his tribe with its smoke: "Hey, send somebody to my location with $500!"
The tribe accepts this signal, but to make sure in its meaning, signals back – once again, with the smoke:
"OK, chief, but why so much?"
At this moment a ground test of nuclear bomb is being held on the test field nearby.
A huge mushroom-like cloud of smoke rises into the sky...
The tribe signals:
"Ok, Ok, chief, we just wondered, why to be so angry?"