Joke #2995

Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common ? A: They both have Kurds in their Whey.
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has 46.53 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: military

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The United States Army will be making a new movie... They'll be shooting in Iraq!
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has 70.38 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: military
The following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred in Los Angeles. The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store. At the scene, the cop told the Marines to "cover" him as he approached the store (to police, "cover" means to point your weapons in the direction of the threat, to Marines it means to lay down a base of fire!). The Marines promptly laid down a base of the fire. The Marines fired 178 rounds before they stopped shooting. The thief, probably a little scared at this point, called 911 and reported, "They're shooting at me!"
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has 80.69 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, geography, military
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That's easy," said one man. "What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?" reasked the instructor. "H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
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has 69.79 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, military, science
What soldiers smell of salt and pepper? Seasoned troops!
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has 32.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: military
Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
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has 23.44 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, military, war
What about Where does a General keep his Armys? In his sleevies!
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has 17.62 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: military
The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander." Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?" "Yes, sir," answered the Sarge. A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up. Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward. NOT SO FAST, McGrath!"
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has 83.09 % from 642 votes. More jokes about: death, military
A Kentuckian entered the US Army and was in his first week of basic training. He lived in the back hills and was not used to the modern amenities. On the first day, he was issued a comb. On the second day they sent him to the barber to cut off his hair. On the third day he was issued a toothbrush and toothpaste. On the fourth day he was sent to the dentist and they pulled ten of his teeth. On the fifth day he was issued an athletic supporter. On the sixth day he went AWOL.
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has 42.06 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: doctor, military
Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common ? A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from !
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has 70.32 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: military
What do you call 35,000 men with their hands up? "Iraqi Army."
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has 48.25 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: military