Joke #268

Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll.
Vote:
has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse slams a shot of scotch, and pounds the shot glass to the bar, turns to the second mouse and says: "When I see a mousetrap, I get on it, lie on my back, and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, and then bench press it 100 times." The second mouse orders up two shots of tequila. He grabs one in each paw, slams the shots, and pounds the glasses to the bar. He turns to the other mice and replies: "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can and take it home. In the morning, I grind it up into a powder and put it in my coffee so I get a good buzz going for the rest of the day." The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and f*uck the cat."
Vote:
has 78.91 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar
What do you get if you cross an eel with a shopper? A slippery customer.
Vote:
has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole? A: Bestiality
Vote:
has 47.79 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, military
"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."
Vote:
has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, school
What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight? Sir Loin.
Vote:
has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you get when you cross an alligator with a road runner? A: A 100 mph nigger eater.
Vote:
has 20.59 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, morbid, racist, sport
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodlemoo.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
How do you go about hiring a horse? Try two pairs of stilts!
Vote:
has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call an owl magician? HOOOOOdini.
Vote:
has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal
A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings." The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings." The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs." The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs." Te bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."
Vote:
has 50.67 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, beer