Joke #268

Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll.
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has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal

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How is cat food sold? Usually purr can!
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?" The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on. St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed. Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off. The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?" The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels."
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has 49.00 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, food, heaven
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Valentines day
Your mom's so dumb, she threw the dog and told the stick to fetch!
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has 70.25 % from 346 votes. More jokes about: animal, stupid, Yo mama
A cowboy rode up to the saloon, dismounted from his horse, and dusted himself off. He then walked around to the rear of his horse, lifted the tail and kissed it right on the rectum. As the cowboy walked into the saloon, the shocked barkeeper asked, "Did you just kiss your horse's butt?" The cowboy said, "Sure, I've got chapped lips." The stunned barkeep asked if this was an old Indian cure. The cowboy said, "Nope. But, sure as s**t, it keeps me from licking my lips!"
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy
How did that bullfight come out? Oh, it was a toss-up.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her face looks like a horse's ass flapping in the breeze.
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?"
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has 85.70 % from 3779 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, food, husband, little Johnny
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
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has 28.76 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, food, mother in law
A monkey goes into a bar and asks the barman: - Do you have any bananas? - No,I don't. ( says the barman) - Do you have any bananas? (asks the monkey) - No,I have not got any bananas! - Do you have any bananas? - If you ask me that question one more time, I'll nail your tongue to the counter! - Do you have any nails? - No,I don't. - Do you have any bananas?
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has 72.27 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, food